Alba, age 12, wrote this imaginative and unnerving dystopian fiction story in our Middle KS3 Creative Writing tutorials.

In creative writing, one of the biggest challenges is often knowing how to help students get started. Students can be really enthusiastic to write, but the prospect of staring at a blank page can be really daunting for them.

To help overcome this, students were given a rough outline of an adventure story, (specially written by Tutor Dave), which included a typical narrative arc, suggestions for plot points and character development.

The story outline was broken into six sections and students developed and extended the outline of the story over the six tutorials in the topic, completing more in their own time if they wanted to.

“Wow, Alba! First of all, what an incredible story. It’s thought-provoking, exciting and enjoyable to read all at once. Secondly, it’s nearly 6000 words long, which shows the tremendous effort and dedication you have put into your writing. You’ve created quite a cast of characters, developed complicated plot lines and made sure to create interesting and varied settings to keep your readers engaged. I’m deeply impressed with your story and you should be very proud to show this off to as many people as you can. Well done :)”

Feedback from Tutor Dave

To unleash your child’s creativity and help them to write like this, join our Upper/Lower KS3 English Tutorials.

PROLOGUE

Deep in the basement of an abandoned building, the group met once again. They went through the same steps as always. Placing mattresses against the walls, soft blankets over the furniture, putting the special soundproofing that was so hard to find nowadays against the door. 

Now they could be sure no one would hear, they began to assemble their instruments. They started to play their wonderful slow, soft, musical tunes.

It was wonderful, just so wonderful to hear music again. It was so soothing that some of the group started to slide comfortably into the soft fabric covered armchairs. They closed their eyes in harmony, and the music carried on wonderfully soothing the ears of all that listened to it.

Floorboards creaked above the band. Some band members started to shift in their seats and some of them even stood up and packed their instruments away, others telling the group that there was no reason to move and that nobody will ever find them in here, ‘Sit down Maria just relax, nobody will find us down here’ Said Richard  whispering in his low, booming, voice. he had a handsome black face with wonderful bright green eyes and was very strong. His wife, Maria, was a bold woman, pale and scared looking. She was very pretty for a woman living in these horrible times. She looked at Richard and whispered,  What about the children Rich? They’re alone at home, what if the Government find us?!’ 

‘Richard, Charlie, I don’t have a good feeling about this.’ Whispered Lily in a petrified voice. 

‘Calm down lily, we’ll be perfectly fine.’ said Charlie. Charlie looked quite similar to Richard, as they were brothers that was obviously expected, but Charlie wasn’t as big as Richard and didn’t have the same large muscle packed body as his brother.

The floorboard creaked again and this time Liliah spoke up, ‘Mother, Father, I think we should leave.’  

‘Alright, let’s go.’  said Richard. Everybody started to pack up their things as they heard a small creak on the floorboard and muffled shouting again. ‘Liliah, go! Go now! Quickly liliah!’ Liliah ran and hid in a cupboard.

BANG! The door crashed open and all of the group started to run for the door. Nobody could see anything in the dust that came off of the door. Everybody tried struggling past the large men to try and leave, but nobody ended up getting out of that horrible mouldy, damp, underground, abandoned place except Liliah.

With little Avery holding her hand trying to spot their mum and dad in the crowd. Surely not, dad would’ve been able to fight them off. What if dad couldn’t, what if they had guns… ‘Riri? Where’s mummy and daddy?’ said Avery, sounding a little worried, trying to keep up with me.

‘They’re ok Avery, don’t worry.’ Then they heard them, mother was screaming, she was bawling her eyes out, ‘MUM!’ She looked around stuck between two giant bulky men from the Government ‘SIERRA! NO, PLEASE LET ME SAY GOODBYE! NO, SIERRAAA!’She screamed.

They started to run through the hundreds of people watching their mum,  Avery still holding her hand, they were trying so hard to get to their mum, clothes soaked through, they were  almost there, when Sierra felt a hand on her shoulder and stopped, It was their grandma, with her face blank and stony just as if she had just been hit round the head by a wooden plank. ‘Sierra, there’s nothing we can do about it sweetheart. Nothing.’   Sierra started sobbing again, and then she saw her dad, unconscious, being carried on a stretcher with a black eye and a bleeding lip. She gasped and Avery hugged her. She lifted her up and held her tightly, then saw aunty Lily and Uncle Charlie getting taken away and wondered where Liliah was.. Did she go to the music club that day or not…? Mum, Dad, Uncle Charlie and Aunty Lily all got thrown into this massive chained van with blood dripping down the side and the words; “GOVERNMENT VEHICLE” sprawled on the side of the large van. They slammed the doors and chained them shut, locked at least three padlocks and got into the back of the van. They drove off, never to be seen again…

CHAPTER 1

THE MURDEROUS MEMBERS

My name is Sierra, or Riri for short. I live in a place called Musical, although, it is the very opposite of musical. There is absolutely no sound at all allowed except the sound of the wind or the sound of the rain rebounding off of the small rectangular mirror in me and Avery’s bedroom. The only music that we hear are the musical cries of the bird family that live on our shelf which come in and out of the small crack in our window. They had chicks quite a while ago so they don’t really come back at all except for the days that Avery leaves out our scraps for them, I think they are the only species of bird left which sing still. Our world is so miserable nowadays that all I can do is go out to the field and scavenge for food to feed us. But I am so sure that when I was little we used to sing and play music and everything was amazing. Life was worth living for back then. I miss Mum and Dad so much, I haven’t seen then for 5 years. In fact, nobody has seen them for years, well, not since they got caught. I live with my younger sister, cousin, grandma and Terry, the cat. It’s not too bad living with grandma and Liliah, but I miss the rest of the family, like Uncle Charlie and Aunty Lily. But you have to live with it, we have no choice.

All I know about the Banning is that there used to be a group called the ‘Ministry of Music’, the Government didn’t know that it was made up of some of the Government workers. Their names were Bill, Freddy, Lachlan, Mia and Dolly; The ‘MM’ I do not know why they had a secret musical group because music was allowed back then. Rumours say the reason the ‘MM’ group got banned was because children kept going missing or some came home looking dazed and didn’t remember anything about where they had just gone. When the ‘MM’ group got found out the Government blamed all of the missing kids or the mind wiped children on them. They took all of the ‘MM’ group members and moved them away in the same van that they took mum and dad away in. And the Government forced them to change their group name to the Murderous Members instead. I am so angry with the Government, they’ve made everybody miserable and starving just because of banning stupid music. The only people in the Government who are upright idiots are the Governess Gigi Whiskers, her husband, Samuel Whiskers and their assistant Phillip Guss. They’re evil, I despise them more than I despise being on this planet.

Sitting up in bed, I can now feel its springs on me, I stand up and stretch my legs, how long had I been sitting down for? It felt like hours, maybe days, or even months, I looked at the clock: 3pm. I walked over to the door and opened it. Grandma was playing ‘guess who?’ with Avery. 

‘Hello Sierra! Sit down, play with us darling.’  

‘Sorry Gran, I would but I am going to go for a walk to stretch my legs but maybe later!’

‘Please Riri?!’ Said Avery, I raised my eyebrows and said;

‘Later,  Avery.’ She groaned and rolled on her back.

‘Where’s Liliah?’ I said frowning

‘Went to the shops with James.’  Said Grandma

‘She won’t be back for a while then, I think she likes him a lot.’ Avery laughed;

‘Hah! Like you know about love life, all you do is scavenge and lie down all day.’ I snorted;

‘What else is there to do?’ Avery opened her mouth to retaliate when grandma spoke;

‘Now now, girls, relax, I’ll get started on dinner and you Sierra can go on that ‘walk’ you were going on.’  She smiled, 

‘Ok Grandma.’ 

‘Be back by 5pm please Sierra.’

‘Okie dokie Gran.’ 

‘And don’t let the music bite!’  I grinned and shut the door behind me, I walked down my usual path not taking much notice on where I was going and I walked into a lamp post, rubbing my head I sat up and looked around, I was in what looked like and abandoned estate, it was very eerie and a little scary.

I was starting to debate whether to carry on or turn back. Eventually I decided to carry on as there was nothing to do and curfew wasn’t for an hour and a half so I decided to explore as well. I then saw an underground tunnel and walked down it to get away from the never-ending rain. I saw writing on the wall; “REBEL, MM, 5PM 23RD OF SEPT MM UNDERGROUND MM MEET, BE THERE OR BE SQUARE, WRITE DOWN YOUR AGE AND FULL NAME HERE; ”

“16yrs AND OVER ONLY.” I gasped, rebel, MM, 5pm, 23rd of sept, underground, MM meet… No, it couldn’t be, a rebel group? Mum and Dad’s group were the only rebel MM group. There was a pencil in my pocket, I was so tempted, but curfew is at 5pm Sierra! What about gran? I told myself….

I took out my pencil with a shaking hand and wrote down; Sierra Pilkins, age; 16.

MM UNDERGROUND MEET..  There was only one thing for it, to go to Mum and Dad’s underground secret hideout place, and there I went..

CHAPTER 2

THE REBELLION

I walked back the way I had come, and instead of going left to Gran’s house, I went straight on to the square. It was deserted, except a few rodents and pigeons eating the scraps of precious food that people had dropped, I walked on, I was a little nervous but fearless. The floor was wet, and my walking boots were getting soaked through, yet I carried on, and saw the abandoned estate house. I ought to be careful, I told myself, there will most likely be a few booby traps. I picked up a stick I found on the floor and threw it at an odd looking tile in the square and it opened, and large spikes flew out of the brick tile, and snapped the stick in two. I walked towards the trapdoor, which you would never be able to find if you didn’t know where it was hidden. Just as I was about to grab the handles to open the door, the large clock on the clock tower struck 5pm, I was supposed to be at Gran’s house eating the last meal of the month which we always celebrated, well, everybody else did, except me. For me it was just another boring, useless month of being alive. I held the cold metal trapdoor handle which blended in with the brick tiles, they were so smooth and cold. 

I opened them, and climbed down the wooden ladder, which was now rotting. It had probably not been used since mum and dad gotten taken away. I touched the damp floor with my shoes and shut the trapdoor, I walked forward, and heard muffled voices. They probably hadn’t put the special soundproof material around the room. I had only gone with mum and dad to their music groups once, I was very good at playing the violin. I knocked on the hidden door whose handle had started to rot just like the ladder had. Someone opened the door, I looked at them and saw an old lady, with a broad smile and smooth white skin. I said hello and looked around, there were a few kids in the same year as me at school, Jaqueline, Jason, Daniel, Amy and Liliah.

I gasped, Liliah? My cousin? 

‘Liliah? Is that you?’ She was holding the piece of paper that I had written my name on only an hour previously. 

‘Sierra? What are you doing here? I just saw your name on the paper!’  smiling I said

‘I thought I’d join in, see what the rebel group was up to, why didn’t you tell me?’ She sighed;

‘I was really scared Sierra, what about Gran?’  

‘I know, what should we do?’ 

‘Hold on? Are you sure you’re here for music?’  She frowned;

‘Obviously? Why would I be here?’ She still looked a little suspicious, I was starting to get nervous. Why was Liliah embarrassing me in front of everyone? I thought. The room was dim-lighted and all the furniture was covered up in the same material that mum and dad always used when they used to do the ‘MM’ group. It looked very intimidating and there was lots of dust on all the furniture, so it had definitely not been used for around 5 years.

‘Hi Sierra!’ Said Daniel

‘Oh, Daniel, hi!’ I said, a little bewildered from his sudden appearance.

‘When did you get here?’ I said turning away from Liliah. 

‘Been here the whole time!’ He said, a little too enthusiastically. 

‘Great!’ I said, trying to hide the sarcasm in my voice.

‘Why don’t I tell you about our plans?!’

‘Sure.’ I said, trying to smile. Daniel had always been nice to me, but I hadn’t really taken much notice of him. 

‘Thanks.’ I said stiffly. He smiled and carried on;

‘We are starting a rebellion plan to fight back against the Government, we need everyone we can get, the plans are, we are going to make a distraction, most likely a protest.’ He said in a horse whisper. ‘With everyone, we have the postman convinced, so he’s going to post leaflets through everyone’s doors, saying to meet at the square for a protest against the Government.’ I raised my eyebrows and said;

‘And you think people will have the guts to stand up to the Government, even if they have no food or hope?’ He grinned and said;

‘We’ve already thought of that, we wrote at the bottom of the letter;  FOR A MOVIE, From, The Government.’ I nodded and this time managed a grin. ‘So, you’re basically asking me to help you?’ He smiled and replied;

‘Yup, and you must not tell anyone it’s a lie.’ I thought about it for a few seconds and said; 

‘Do I have any choice?’ He smiled and said nothing. ‘Whatever.’ He raised his eyebrows and said; ‘So, you’ll do it?’ I nodded. He thrust his fists into the air and said to Liliah; ‘Liliah, we have a new ‘MM’ member.’ She looked around and said to me; 

‘Come on then, let’s go back to Gran’s house.’  I grinned and thought; I’m starting to like Daniel. And waved goodbye to everyone. And Liliah and I walked home together.

CHAPTER 3

BETRAYED?

The next day, we had a normal day of being bored. I was pacing up and down my room, with Liliah in my wake watching. She was biting her nails. I was resisting, she was more nervous. She had planned it all. She kept saying; ‘What if we get betrayed, are you sure you want to join in?’  I just kept nodding when she brought this up. It felt like hours had gone by, but we were still four hours away from the gathering, six o’clock, seven o’clock, eight o’clock; Avery went to bed at that point, and Grandma fell asleep too around nine o’clock. BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP. The alarm went off, it was time, time for the rebellion to strike back. We left the house with our bags, and met up under the big oak tree that had been there for centuries. It was still raining, dripping down my back. We were all drenched, it never stopped raining in this silly place. As we started to head to the Government building, I could hear my feet splashing in the big puddles the rain was making. Everyone was silent, it was very eerie. It felt like we were being watched, although you couldn’t see the eyes that were watching you. We all stopped in front of the barbed wire fence. The girls went first with the boys lending them a leg. The girls all had metal scissors, and they cut the barbed wire off the top of the fence and climbed over. We all eventually made it over. 

We walked through the abandoned estate houses and Liliah led everyone through an alleyway, when we got back in the open. We heard muffled voices and splashing footsteps, a couple of screams and shouts from our fellow rebels. We all darted down into a manhole, I was the last one in and they grab my wrist. I tried to prise my hand out of their grip. But it was no use, they had a tight grip. As they were slowly lifting me out of the manhole a big muscly boy grabbed my hand and slit a small cut in the person’s hand which was prising mine out. I heard a familiar shout of pain and the boy closed the manhole after me. ‘Thanks,’ I say shyly and out of breath. He grinned and turned to Liliah. ‘Okay, everyone stay still. We’re going to do a head count,’   she whispered. I stood still, but was still shaking from the close encounter. Liliah frowned.. Has anyone seen Daniel?’  Nobody said anything. And then I remembered that familiar shout of pain, and the silhouetted figure I saw sprinting into the darkness. ‘I did.’ Everybody looked at me and that boy gave me an encouraging nod. I carried on; 

‘I saw a figure sprint out from our group, into th-’ 

‘YOU WHAT?!’  She gasps 

‘I knew that Daniel wasn’t to be trusted.’  I frowned at her;

‘How do you know it was Daniel?’ I said

‘Because, h-’ 

‘Look, if you let me talk, I will tell you something else’  I hissed.

She rolled her eyes and nodded. 

‘When I got my hand caught as I was going down the manhole and that boy-’…

‘The name’s Peter.’ He said smiling. His voice sounded familiar, I wasn’t sure why… Deep and soothing to hear.

‘Oh, sorry.’I said blushing. 

He grins and nods as if to say; ‘carry on’. 

‘Peter, cut the person holding me’s hand, and I heard a shout of pain which sounded like Daniel’s.’

‘Great. We have been betrayed,’  Said Liliah, clapping her hands together. 

‘Okay, there doesn’t seem to be much we can do except go back. Which I don’t think will be a good idea. Now that we have done part one of our plan.’  

 Everybody murmured their agreement. 

‘Right, that means we are now on part two of our plans.’

She wiped the sweat off her brows and continued;

‘So, the next part of our plan is to get through the abandoned estate and into the ‘Government land’

And in that moment I spaced out, thinking; I can’t believe the Government are allowed to do this. It’s absolutely outrageous.

‘Sierra? SIERRA?!’  

 ‘Oh! Yeah! Sorry!’ 

‘Remember the plan everyone!’ 

As soon as we had all climbed out of the manhole; I knew something was wrong. The street lamps were on, everybody had electricity. Some houses even had their small televisions on.. It was very eerie… 

‘Okay, this is it.’  Whispered Liliah, pointing at a gate a few feet away. 

‘Don’t you think it’s a bit odd?’ whispered Peter in my ear so nobody could hear except me. ‘That we haven’t been attacked yet? I mean, it’s almost daylight! The protest is going to start soon!’ 

‘Yeah, I know.. It is a bit odd.’ I whispered back. 

‘Okay everyone, step three,’  Said Liliah in a half-whisper, ‘The Government shouldn’t be expecting us, so this should go smoothly.’  She kept glancing at the grand double doors of the Government building. Its features were very fancy and rich looking. And quite intimidating. It was towering over all of us; like Its marble walls were about to collapse on us. I had never seen the Government building before, except when Liliah, Avery and I had to be punished for our Parents mistakes. I remembered it like it was yesterday. Me holding Avery tight in my arms, she was only seven, seven! And they whipped her. No matter how many times I volunteered to do it instead of her. She still had the scar of where that belt hit her cheekbone. This is for Avery, for Mum, for Dad, for Gran and for Aunty Lily and Uncle Charlie. This was payback. 

‘Here, take this. Remember; do not get caught.’  Said Liliah; passing me a walkie talkie. And then she sorted us into pairs. She went alone; because we were missing one of our members. Then two boys from my year went together, Jaqueline and Amy paired up; and then Peter and I.

We entered a secret passageway through a manhole which led to the back garden area of the Government building, and there we split up. Peter and mine’s job was to distract the workers left here into the back garden where we had entered and capture them all, leaving the coast clear for the others. 

Once we had gotten into the building, I looked around; the big marble statues on the pillars around all of the desks and computers and piles of paperwork. The desks were made of marble too, except for the drawer handles, they were covered in gold. Probably real gold.

We tiptoed to the lift, and called it. Ready to strangle the people which came out. But there was nobody in them.. Peter and I frowned at each other. This was very odd.. We got into the lift and I pressed the number “1”. Peter and I exchanged worried looks and then the lift doors opened; Nobody, once again it was empty. We looked around, a little puzzled. I was expecting them to be playing a trick on us or, maybe an alarm to go off. But nothing.. I pressed the button on the walkie talkie and said; 

‘All clear, everything’s empty on the ground floor and floor 1.’ 

‘Copy that.’  

Said Liliah’s familiar voice. 

And with that, Peter and I arranged ourselves in the hiding places we were supposed to be keeping the non-existing office workers hostage. We closed the cupboard door and waited for the sign that meant that mission had been completed. I peered through the small lines of the cupboard and waited… 

All of the lights went out, we had completed the mission!

 ‘EXCELLENT!’ Said Peter.

‘Shush!!’ I hissed

‘Sorry!’ He whispered.

We climbed out of the cupboard, down the lift and out into the garden where everybody was waiting for us. 

‘Where is it!?’ I asked

‘Here, said Liliah,’  brandishing a small cube with symbols sprawled around its edges. 

‘Just excellent!’ Said Peter; punching the air.

‘Okay, now that I’ve sent the message, we should be off.’

Everyone nodded and we set off.

And just as I was about to follow Peter out of the door, something caught my eye. It was.. Or at least it looked like.. No, it couldn’t be? Daniel? I watched him; he was talking to someone, I moved closer to the window, wiping my glasses to see if I was seeing correctly.. Daniel was talking to a man that I vaguely remembered.. And then, Daniel shook hands with the man, and I realised who he was! He was the Prime Minister of our sector! Sector 22! I had seen him on the television at Gran’s house! But Daniel? He was supposed to be against the Government! Not on their side! ‘Great, we have been betrayed,’  Had we been betrayed? Was Liliah right? It looked like she was… We were in big trouble.. And it was daylight now.. I needed to tell the others..

CHAPTER 4

SAMUEL WHISKERS

I change my mind, I want to be absolutely certain that Daniel was not on our side before I told Liliah and the others. So I went closer, used to camouflaging in the bushes and trees due to scavenging for food on the meadows. I was getting closer now, then, I saw Daniel and the Minister of Sector 22 talking. I crawled inside a big holly bush, using my hood to deflect the hollies from my face. I was very aware that the brushing of the hood was bringing a lot of attention to this bush. But the Minister brushed it off, and carried on talking.

‘Of course, of course. We won’t hurt your little friends!’ Said the Minister in his squeaky little voice. He looked like a rat, his teeth were yellow and some were missing. He was a very short man, called Samuel Whiskers. He was unintimidating, but he had the whole power of the Government behind him. He was wearing a navy blue striped suit, with a white bow tie and brown, pointed shoes and a white bowler hat with brown lace around it. His spindly hair looked like he had been ripping it out. He was carrying a small briefcase with the letters “S22” sprawled on its side.  

‘I wouldn’t expect you to, Minister!’ 

‘I am glad to hear you trust us!’ Squeaked the Minister ‘And you are sure their hideout is where the Murderous Members used to have theirs?’

‘Of course Minister Whiskers!’ said Daniel cheerily.

‘Perfect!’ Said the Minister checking his watch ‘I must be off soon, and you’re sure that your friends don’t know about our little ‘Deal?’ son?’ Squeaked the Minister

‘Yes, I am certain they do not know that I am betraying them Minister’ Said Daniel with a sly grin on his face.

‘Perfect! Perfect! Right, I must be off then, you know, to the wife!’ 

Then, he winked at Daniel and hurried off. I had never seen the Minister’s wife in person, only on the broken television at Gran’s house. She was much taller than the minister, and always wore thick layers of makeup. She always wore the same smile. She was a very large woman, much more intimidating than Samuel Whiskers. 

I left the bush quietly and ran off into the woods and back past the big Government building with its marble walls and golden statues, up the hill into the abandoned estate, still not believing anything I had just heard. I ran past Sector’ 22’s square where there were surprisingly no people.. I was expecting crowds! For the protest of course. I was starting to doubt that the others would believe me, if even I couldn’t believe what I had heard myself!

Everywhere I looked, there were posters of me and the new ‘MM’ group. All of the square tv’s were on and there were videos of me and the ‘MM’ group in the Government building.. What was going on? It looked like we were breaking in to hurt them, but they knew… I had a bad feeling, a feeling that they knew where I was right now, the sun was going down.. I could feel eyes watching my every move, yet I couldn’t see them. And then I was seeing people come out of their houses, their mouths gaping whilst pointing at me, whispering behind my back. I just ran and ran.

Finally, I made it back to the base, where there were no eyes watching me anymore, and no houses except abandoned town houses.

I dodged the bad brick tile, and slipped on the floor, grazing my arm. I got up, rubbing it, and opened the trap door, with it’s cold metal handle. I opened the door, but this time no voices, no warm welcome, just a thick layer of dust to greet me. Nobody was in there. It was as if it had never been touched. As I went to leave, the door slammed. And the little light left from the torches in the tunnel went out, I was trapped.

CHAPTER 5

THE BETRAYAL

Inside the dark gloomy walls of the abandoned basement, Sierra was crying, 

‘It’s all my fault!’ She was sobbing into the darkness. 

‘Where is everyone?  It was all my fault! Please let them go! Hello?! Anyone?!’

‘Well, well, well.’ said Daniel emerging from the dark.  I stopped crying immediately and wiped my face. ‘Do you really think that I would let your “friend” go?’ He screeched, laughing. ‘What have you done with them Daniel?’ What have you done to yourself?’ I said as he lit a torch. He had scratches and red marks all over his face, and blood dripping out of his mouth. He screeched with laughter again;

‘Oh, you do make me giggle, Sierra!’ I clenched my fists. You could kill him Sierra, do it! DO IT! Said a voice in the back of my head. But I decided to wait and listen. 

‘All along, I tricked everyone into thinking that I was on your side! You really thought that I was the Daniel that followed you around school? The Daniel who always asked to sit next to you?’ He screeched. 

‘What did you do to Daniel?’ I said, my words shaking with anger.

‘That Daniel boy was already in trouble!’ 

‘WHAT DID YOU DO TO DANIEL?!’ And this time I was the one that was screeching. I slapped him. He grunted with pain and fell on his knees.

‘Just wait Sierra, wait!’ 

‘WHO ARE YOU?!’ 

‘Let me explain!’ He cried and I stepped back and watched him, cursing him under my breath. ‘I am not Daniel, I am Daniel’s brother. My name is Gareth, and I killed Daniel, I drowned him and blamed it on my parents. They got taken away too. I wanted revenge on the people who were nice to me. Nice to my family.’ He smirked. ‘You and your family were one of them.’ I acted too quickly, I grabbed his throat and thrust him against the wall. 

‘No, wait, I have the whole of the government on my si- side.’ He spluttered. 

‘YOU TOOK MY PARENTS AWAY FROM ME, FROM MY SISTER, FROM MY FAMILY!’ 

This time, I was the one that didn’t act quickly and Daniel lifted the torch and burnt my hand just as he was turning purple. I screamed in agony and fell onto the floor. 

‘WEAK! WEAK CHILD!’ He screeched. I panted and tried to get up but the pain was too much. 

‘You won’t see any of your friends again, ever! They’re getting taken away, just like you. And the last thing you’ll see is me. 

He grabbed my hair and tugged me to the door and just as he was about to shut the door behind him. Everything happened so quickly, flashing lights, a scream, and hands. And then I saw Peter, Liliah, everyone from the ‘MM’ group. 

‘Peter? Liliah? Guys? Wha-?’ But I couldn’t say anything else. Because me and Peter were embraced in a hug, oh,  It was wonderful. And then, it was all gone. And another warm body embraced me, Avery! 

‘Avery!!’ I shouted! 

And she smiled at me. Then another person embraced me, Liliah!

‘Oh Lils! Oh I am so sor-’ 

‘Be quiet! You’re on camera!’  As she let go, I could see where I was and what was happening! I could see flashing lights by the trap door, and “Daniel” lying on the floor, with Gran shouting at him and tying his hands behind his back with the ‘MM’ groups help. 

‘Oh, Gran, I am so so sorry!’ 

‘Not to worry my love! You girls did the right thing!’  she said, grinning as broadly as ever. 

‘We filmed the whole thing!’ Said Peter kissing me on the cheek. 

‘You did?! Oh my gosh, how did you know?!’ I shrieked, laughing. 

‘Never that mind.. Let’s get Daniel locked up.’  She grimaced. 

‘Daniel is not Daniel! He is Gareth! Daniel’s brother!’ I shouted, as my memory flooded back. Slowly, Liliah turned to face me. 

‘He what?!’  She spat at me.

‘He is Gareth, Daniel’s older brother. He betrayed our parents’  I said in a small voice, very unlike my own. Peter squeezed my hand. 

‘YOU! YOU ARE THE ONE WHO RUINED MY LIFE, AND NOW YOU’VE RUINED THE ONLY THING THAT COMFORTED ME.’  She growled at him. I stood up, anger flooding into every part of my body, if I wasn’t on broadcast to every Sector in the nation.… I would kill Gareth. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and felt the reassuring warmth of Gran engulf me and Liliah. 

‘Now now girls, he is only young. But I can’t blame you for almost trying to kill him in the basement Sierra!’  Said Gran, her voice cracking. She winked at me. Me and Liliah grinned at her. And then I felt Avery’s warm hug around my waist and smiled down at her, she was crying, but nonetheless, grinning like usual.

‘Come on then girls, let’s get this Gareth locked up.’ said Gran, letting go of me and Liliah. 

‘Fine.’ I said, forcing a slight smile just for Gran. 

Flashing lights, tears, cheering, shouts and cries. And everyone we knew was out on the streets, fighting, resisting the Government. We had all worked together to bring them down.

***

‘I still can’t believe you, Liliah and Peter brought down the Government!’said Avery grinning widely. Peter And I were snuggled up next to each other, Gran was making dinner in the new kitchen, Liliah was playing a boardgame with me, Avery and Peter. All was great. 

And then, the welcoming sound of the doorbell went off;

‘I’ll go and get it.’ said Peter in his calm, comforting voice. His footsteps trailed away, we heard the door opening and closing and then multiple voices. 

‘Liliah, Avery, Sierra! There’s someone at the door for you!’ We all rolled our eyes, used to fans knocking on the door and asking for autographs. Yet it was odd, because they wanted Avery as well…. We all exchanged confused expressions and walked down the corridor. My heart skipped a few beats. I felt dizzy and a little sick. No, it couldn’t be, it isn’t, is it?

Avery and Liliah screamed;

‘MUM? DAD?’ We all said, and ran, and hugged the lost members of our family. 

‘Oh! Liliah, Sierra, Avery, Mum!’ Gran had made her way down the corridor, looking puzzled. 

‘Uncle Charlie? Aunty Lily!’ squealed Avery, hugging everyone she could. I would’ve loved it to last forever. In fact, it could’ve, but dad, in his booming, gentle voice that felt like it hadn’t been heard in years, maybe even decades spoke;

‘Oh, my girls, my sunshines!’ He said. He always used to call us that, his sunshines. I smiled, and Avery started to sob, but was still smiling, happy crying. ‘Now let’s go sit down and have a chat! You girls have grown so much! Look at you!’ he said pointing at us. That evening, everybody was sobbing, except Peter, but he was there for me, always holding my hand. I had a feeling, a good feeling, that things were going to be much better from now on.

THE END

Alba, age 11, wrote this tense, descriptive and wonderfully creative story in our Lower KS3 Creative Writing tutorials.

In creative writing, one of the biggest challenges is often knowing how to help students get started. Students can be really enthusiastic to write, but the prospect of staring at a blank page can be really daunting for them.

To help overcome this, students were given a rough outline of an adventure story, (specially written by Tutor Dave), which included a typical narrative arc, suggestions for plot points and character development.

The story outline was broken into six sections and students developed and extended the outline of the story over the six tutorials in the topic, completing more in their own time if they wanted to.

“This is such an amazing story, Alba! I love the care with which you have developed imagery in your writing to help us imagine the sights, sounds and suspense of trying to escape this island. You have taken the original ideas and developed them in a super creative way using your amazing writing skills to keep your reader intrigued and engaged in your story. What a great job – very well done!”

Feedback from Tutor Dave

To unleash your child’s creativity and help them to write like this, join our Upper/Lower KS3 English Tutorials.

Chapter 1
*The Start*

“I was looking through the rounded-plane-window waiting for us to land. We were flying over these wonderful green covered mountains and beautiful trees. Oh, it was lovely! But then…the Pilot started to make a funny noise.. It sort of sounded like… Choking. The pilot was choking!!! I went to try and help him, but the plane jolted back and then everything went downhill. The beautiful crystal clear water was not so beautiful anymore. It turned black like nothing was safe anymore. I called to the pilot, but no one answered. I screamed, but it was too late.No one could hear me. I jumped up and down on the plane, and started to examine the engines at the back of the plane…”

“I smelt the air, it smelt smokey but fiery. I stepped back, it was too much. I had to take a deep breath. I coughed because of the smoke. I’d had enough. I opened up the engine, it was a little smoky and the air was starting to get thicker and thicker… I went to jump off the plane but then I remembered the pilot! I climbed to the top of the plane and into the cockpit. The pilot was there but it looked like he had fainted or something. Then, I saw the crack in the side of the plane window and I understood what I had to do… I had to fly the plane. I wasn’t quite sure how to but then I decided to go for it. I pulled the joystick and the plane jolted this way and that! I was terrified and suddenly the plane dropped out of the sky. I shrieked as we plunged into the deep cold sea. I grabbed the pilot and swam and swam and swam until I saw a land mass. Not too big and not too small.. I stepped on to the warm sand and found a tree and I lay down and fell asleep with the pilot right by me.”

Chapter 2
*Survive?*

I opened my eyes and I felt a bit confused and tired and I could feel a headache creeping up. I couldn’t quite remember what had happened the day before. I rubbed my eyes and I sat up, just as my eyes were focusing I saw a figure standing in front of me and it gave me its hand. I took it, my eyes had focused and my body had woken up, I realised who it was. It was the pilot! He had made it! He was alive! I took a sharp breath and the air was thick and warm. He asked me if I was okay, I just nodded. I really wasn’t okay at all. I was terrified.”

“It was later on in the day, it was sort of midday, but I couldn’t tell because my watch had broken whilst I was swimming. It was actually quite a nice warm day, I would have enjoyed it more if I hadn’t just crashed in a plane and was thirsty and hungry. I asked the pilot if he had any leftover food from the plane. He said no, I was devastated. I remembered the palm trees and said to the pilot; “why don’t we get some coconuts from the palm trees from earlier?”

“Okay!” said the pilot.”

“We had been searching and searching for food and water. We had finally found a palm tree but it only had one coconut on it. Only one! I sighed and the pilot said; “I can get it if you lift me up?” I put out my leg and he stepped up onto it and climbed up the palm tree and suddenly, he screamed and fell off the palm tree. I rushed over to him and asked; “are you okay??” His eyes looked brighter than ever and he did manage to get the coconut but he pointed behind me. I then heard a hissing noise right by my ear and I ran and the pilot followed still with the coconut. We didn’t stop until we couldn’t hear the noise anymore.”

“We lay down that night and I could hear that noise louder than ever. I was shivering. It had gotten colder.

That night I couldn’t sleep at all, I was wondering if we’d ever survive and if anyone knows where we are and if my family is okay at home and if we can contact someone… It was dreadful.

Chapter 3
*The Cave*

I jumped up! Ready to go and get my kids to wake them up and go to school! Then, I remembered that I wasn’t at home. In fact, at that moment, I felt a little drop on my nose. I looked up, and loads of little drops of rain started pouring all over me!! The pilot was calling me, and screaming. I called to him. Nothing answered. I heard a scream again coming from the Jungle on my left. I ran into the Jungle, it was very damp and not much rain was getting in there. I looked up and realised why. There was a giant sea of palm trees above me. Beautiful ones, with coconuts and green leaves. I heard the scream again. I ran through the jungle with the most interesting pairs of eyes staring at me in all directions. 

I finally got to a clearing, and the rain had stopped. For a split second I thought I was at home in the beautiful sunshine, smoking my tobacco, peacefully. Then I saw a lake, a beautiful shining blue lake, the water was crystal clear. And I turned and that same screaming noise was right by my ear. I spotted a  cave and without thinking twice, I ran into it. It was a very dark cave, my eyes were still adjusting to the darkness when I bumped into something, a sort of rounded spiky object. My eyes had finally adjusted and I realised it was a beautiful crystal. I could hear a small dripping noise from the rain that had come back again. I could also still hear that screaming noise right outside the cave. Then, out of the blue, I saw a black shadow in the cave. It suddenly jumped out of the cave and growled and roared! A roar that one had never heard before. And the screaming, slowly, died away. There, was the black shadow again, lurking around the cave,  I didn’t quite get to see any of those creatures, if they were even creatures that is. I only saw a glimpse of black and green and then, everything seemed to calm down and the black shadow scaredly, slowly started to come nearer and nearer. It had definitely gotten hurt with everything that had happened outside, because it was limping towards me, in some need of help.

I sat down in the small glistening cave, and took off my bag. Luckily, I had stuffed the first aid kit from the plane in my bag just as it was falling out of the sky, it turned around again, but the creature had gone. I heard the noise again, it seemed to be further but louder and louder again. I had made up my mind. I couldn’t hear the pilots’ calls anymore. But I decided to stay the night in this cave.

That night I fell asleep straight away, but it wasn’t such a pleasant sleep. I had dreadful nightmares, about the screaming noise, I shall not explain anymore. It was too bad.

Chapter 4
*Survive?*

I gasped! Then I remembered I was safe. For now. I was trying to understand what I had been woken up by. Then I heard the screaming noise again. This time it sounded further away than last night.

I had waited and waited. And I felt it was the time. I plucked up the courage to go and investigate the noise. Just before I set off on this expedition, I remembered the black shadow, and whether it was  alive or I was just hallucinating. 

Then, I decided I needed a weapon of some sort.. So I looked around the cave for something I could make use of. I spent as long as I possibly could in that cave and the only resource I found was a considerably short stick. And a piece of string. Not the ideal weapon but it did the job. And then I remembered I had a small penknife in my bag which I found in the first aid bag. Which I used to carve my stick into a reasonably sharp end. Then I heard the screaming noise and decided to head out of the clearing into the dark and green spooky forest. And spotted tha

After I don’t know how many hours I was Trekking through that jungle but it seemed for days, maybe months. I saw nothing except small dart frogs and poisonous snakes. I ate everything left in my backpack. All I had left to do was eat small harmless bugs. And drink the water drops from the big forest roof and the umbrella like leaves.

I was about to give up and then I saw a light. Not a very bright one but a dim sort of calm-homelike sort of light. I ran towards this wonderful light and bursted out of the forest walls.

I blinked. I was outside again, where was I? Then I spun round and there was a cliff. A beautiful one with ivy hanging down from every nook and cranny of the beautiful cliff. I gazed at it from every angle. Its beauty was hypnotising! I shook myself, then I focused and the black shadow which had been following me finally revealed itself. It was a beautiful black prowling panther. It was the most elegant animal I had ever seen. With its golden eyes and pristine claws and eye-catching paws. Then, suddenly everything started pouring it down with rain and I decided it was time to head back to the cave.

I trotted through the green infested forest and I swore I could still hear the captain’s shouts ringing in my ear. I can’t wait to go back to that beautiful cliff the next morning. 

I turned the corner right by the cave, the black panther still following and then I looked behind me for one moment and 

There was like a sort of big, plastic-like snake skin, a massive one! Bigger than I had ever seen in my 30 years of living! Then everything went silent and the birds stopped singing, the insects stopped clicking and I turned around and saw what was making the noise…

***

Chapter 5
*Surprise!*

I gasped, it was the poor old pilot not living much longer, but his clothes were placed firmly on the beastly creature’s monstrosity of a body. Then I came back to my senses.

The black panther attacking ‘The Great Big Python’. I ran as fast as I could not even looking where I was going, the screaming of it was getting ever closer, I never even knew Python’s could make such noises! 

Still racing through the forest, the noise at its loudest and nearest as ever. ‘I could try and climb up a tree, or hide behind a rock?’ I thought to myself.

Then I saw a gigantic lake, beautiful crystal clear water, then I saw rocks, just about as tall and wide for me to hide behind. I sat with my back to the rock, not daring to say a word. The panther on my lap, ready to advance on ‘The Great Big Python’ if it didn’t leave soon. 

We waited, and waited, and waited. Me neither the Panther daring to go near the beastly creature I could hear its slow heartbeat and hissing tongue getting nearer and nearer. Its rattling scales shining off the sun, I could hear it slowly, advancing towards the rock I was hiding behind. Then, suddenly it turned and slithered away faster than I had ever moved myself. Then at that moment I realised the panther wasn’t on my lap. Then, I turned to see what had made the Python bolt, then I realised it was indeed the panther itself. Not any panther, the panther at the back of this great big party and a chief-like great big old panther at the very front with the most beautiful black panther! I kneeled down in front of the great big panther in a gesture of thanks. It accepted it and sat grandly like a king on his throne.

I could hear the hissing and screaming of The Great Big Python in the distance some way away.

That moment I relaxed slightly, like I was safe around these elegant creatures.

I looked at the lake again and saw a sort of raft looking thing, made out of yellow bamboo, held together with ivy from the tree and the panthers were gesturing towards it as a way of escape. The panther I was with, I named ‘Lucky’ because she had been very lucky to have been saved from her pack, and to still be alive and I was very lucky to have her.

Chapter 6
*The End*

I looked around for the raft again.. It was nowhere to be seen.. I kept looking and looking and finally I saw the bamboo raft was right there in front of me, I started to examine the raft and everything looked fine until, I realised that there was a big hole in the middle of the raft, but it looked like it was just fixable…  then I heard that distant hissing and screaming and shrieking in the distance.. It sounded like it was getting closer and then it went further and then back again like something was stopping it.

***

The next day I started to try and repair the raft.. It wasn’t going as well as I hoped it would.. I couldn’t find any materials to fix it with. Then I looked around for the last time and found some Ivy on a tree… Quite strong but not too thick, I gave it a try and,I hopped on the raft and splash. I fell through the ivy and into the freezing cold water. It wasn’t such a bad hole but it would do some good if I did fix it.. Then, the noise seemed to have escaped from the barrier’s grasp and started to get closer and closer..

I started to panic, not knowing what the best thing was to do and then… I remembered the small stump next to the stone I hid behind!! I ran over to the stone hearing the hissing getting ever closer, I grabbed the stump and shoved it in the hole.. I rapped the ivy around it and for now, It stayed.. I wrapped and wrapped until there was no ivy left… I had done it at last! I was free from this awful island.. I saw the panther’s shadows behind me and the thing was coming, they were blocking the thing!  Then, at that moment when I grabbed my bag and stuffed some berries in it, The Great Big Python re-appeared.. I waved goodbye to the panthers and said thank you many many times although it wasn’t much use because they were too busy fighting The Great Big Python… The small little Panther jumped on the bamboo raft at just the last minute and I grabbed it just before it slipped and fell in the ice cold water.. I rowed and rowed till the island was just as far as I felt safe.. I was free!! Finally!!!

Darcy, age 12, wrote this exciting and imaginative story in our Lower KS3 Creative Writing tutorials.

In creative writing, one of the biggest challenges is often knowing how to help students get started. Students can be really enthusiastic to write, but the prospect of staring at a blank page can be really daunting for them.

To help overcome this, students were given a rough outline of an adventure story, (specially written by Tutor Dave), which included a typical narrative arc, suggestions for plot points and character development.

The story outline was broken into six sections and students developed and extended the outline of the story over the six tutorials in the topic, completing more in their own time if they wanted to.

“Wow! What an amazing story, Darcy! I think I will actually have nightmares about those koala bears… You have worked so hard on this and it has really paid off. It’s a fun, exciting adventure story that kept me hooked throughout. I particularly love how your character throws a stick into the river and it bursts into flames – what a terrifying sight! Really imaginative and creative work, Darcy – very very well done :)”

Feedback from Tutor Dave

To unleash your child’s creativity and help them to write like this, join our Upper/Lower KS3 English Tutorials.

The Crash

As I sat in the small cockpit of my friend’s private jet I dreamily gazed out of the cockpit window watching the birds in the distance swooping through tall, green pine trees on top of a giant snowy mountain. I could see a group of small, light grey dolphins playing catch with a bright, yellow pufferfish.

I was feeling warm and relaxed in the early evening sun until a cold chill ran down the jet, I quickly brushed it of  thinking I was just being silly and continued to gaze out of the window when another chill sped down the jet and the controls began to move by themselves, pointing the jet towards the ocean. I felt like someone had just tied my hands up so there was nothing I could do to stop it, time itself began to slow down and the whole jet went quiet. I could hear my heart pounding in my chest and a whoosh whipped around me, then the plane sped up to full speed and SPLASH! The plane was quickly sinking into the magnificent ocean. I tried to swim away but I felt like someone was holding me down and I couldn’t move. I was getting scared. Time was running out and oxygen was running low so I quickly kicked out and managed to dislodge whatever was holding me down and break a window to get to the surface.

As my head broke the surface of the water I saw an island about three miles off. It should have been an easy swim but out of nowhere a jet black shadow swam under me and the sky turned black as a lightning bolt fled across the sky, then things got dangerous, the waves grew  30 feet tall and came crashing down on my head almost drowning me. In a break between waves I saw a figure cackling in the middle of a giant wave with ghostly figures circling it but when it noticed I had seen it, it disappeared and the sea was calm with a lovely blue sky but something was bothering me and that was… I know that figure but who is it? Then it came to me. It was my brother. I couldn’t believe it but then I told myself that people turn on you just like the wind. 

Once I arrived at the beach of the island I realised how dangerous this situation was but I was in no state to be making big decisions so I decided the only thing I could just about manage is building a simple shelter to sleep in for the night. When I woke up it was still very dark and I couldn’t think for the life of me why I had woken up until I heard my stomach give a loud rumble and I realised I hadn’t eaten in 12 hours. I was both hungry and sleepy(  but hunger won.) I  sleepily wandered around this luscious, green island. I was plodding around the beach as the sun turned the sky to a warm orange. I was feeling less sleepy and more happy but still very hungry and not a coconut insight so I decided to head inland to see if I can find a pond or some sort of water. As I wandered through the luscious, green forest I felt warm and then I heard it, it  was a woosh and splash of a waterfall. I ran to it knowing that if there was water there would be something to eat and drink. It was stunning. A beautiful, crystal clear waterfall gliding down a smooth, sparkly rock face, I drank as much of the water as I  possibly could, then caught some fish using an old spear I found hidden in the bushes and that’s when  I heard it  a loud screech and roar mixed together came whooshing through the trees making my hair fly back behind me.

It was the next day and I was feeling much happier because the sun was shining and I had made a base near the waterfall. As I pranced happily over to the waterfall the water turned bright red which turned my mood from happy to afraid I decided to chuck a stick in and it immediately burst into flames suddenly the loud screechy roar fled out across the island and the sky turned red,my whole camp was on fire, I was forced to flee. As I fled across the island the roar stopped and the sky was normal again but I was terrified, I had finally realised quite how dangerous this island truly was. I began wandering around wondering what to do next. I knew I couldn’t go back to the waterfall because of how dangerous it was and then I saw a small cave just big enough for a person to crawl through. As I crawled through the narrow space I saw some torches in the cave ahead just where the cave widened into a space big enough for me to stand in. I stepped into the wider space and then a kind looking koala stepped out in front of me and said , ‘ Good evening young lady, may I politely ask how you managed to get in here. ‘

I stepped back in alarm, koalas are not supposed to talk and this didn’t sit right with me.

‘ h-how can you speak? and how can I understand you?’ I said, still partly dazed. 

‘Well ‘ the koala began. ‘ you see there is a special magic on this island that makes people be able to understand any animal’ 

 ‘Well thank you for answering my questions and in return I will answer yours’ I started, ‘ I became stranded on this island by my evil step brother and was seeking shelter ‘ I thought it was best that I left out the fact that I did have a shelter but it burnt down.   

. 

He looked at me puzzled for a moment and then scuttled off down a bit further in the tunnel, that was odd I thought to myself. It did not take long for the koala to return, this time holding a blanket, pillow, bread and water he held it out towards me and nodded at it, I took it and thanked him for the items, then he was off down the tunnel again. I began to make a bed and eat my dinner when the sound rang out around the cave.as I went to go to sleep i felt the blanket and the underside almost felt like it was made out of skin but not any skin it felt human.I managed to settle down and fall asleep but my dreams were filled with nightmares of what is making that sound and how they had found human skin.

I woke up to the koala shaking me and telling me that I must leave immediately, he seemed panicked and almost afraid. I got up with a start and looked around wondering what was going on, but I saw the koala waving his hand at the door so I got up and ran out of the cave, yelling my thank you’s to the koala. All I knew is that if he was afraid then I should be too. After a long time of running I slowed down thinking that I was far enough away but I also wanted to go back and see what the koala was so afraid of. After debating what to do next I decided to make some weapons and  somehow kill whatever is making my koala friend so frightened.  As I was foraging for things I heard an ear piercing scream then the roar rang out around the forest with the roar a chill ran down my spine but I got back to the task at hand and found an old rusty sword and with a bit of sharpening it was perfect. I began my march feeling confident until I reached the cave and saw my friend’s body lying dead in a giant web  in front of a giant evil koala.

When I saw the koala,it stared back for a minute then roared and came straight for me. The clouds turned black and a thunderstorm began. I ran in the opposite direction as fast as my feet could carry me but I felt like I was being slowed down by some sort of weird force but I kept pushing. I could feel the koalas breath hot running down my neck as I ran the ground became slippery, I shot a glance behind me and saw a horrifying sight  there was a swarm of little koala carrying machetes in their mouths and the giant koala at the front close enough that I could feel the ground shake with every  step he took. I ran as fast as I could and then when he looked away for one second I dived into a big bush and hid. The giant koala came slowly towards the hedge and began sniffing around right by my face. I could feel my heart in my throat and my blood was racing, I began to breathe heavily, afraid I would get caught, I slapped my hand over my mouth. After what felt like an hour the koala continued on his way thinking I had run away. I waited a little while until I was sure he was gone, then I crawled out of the bush (covered in scratches ) and had a walk around to try and figure out what to do next.

I eventually made it to the beach and saw an old boat bobbing on top of the ocean a little way out. I decided that this was my best chance to escape the island so I began to slowly swim towards it. When I finally reached the boat I was exhausted and hungry but as I was about to climb in the boat and drive off I realised that lots of the side planks had disappeared,wait no they had been smashed, so the only thing I could do was slowly drag the ‘boat’ back to the shore. When I got back it was almost dark and I needed sleep so I settled myself down on a pile of leaves and began to doze but a soon a I got into a nice deep sleep my dreams were full of nightmares of the giant beast and I couldn’t sleep so I got to work on the boat finding bits of driftwood and securing them on using some old nails I found and using a stick to hammer them in after a long time half of one side was complete and I was feeling happy with myself until I heard a roar of in the distance and my progress fell apart. I wanted to cry but I knew that crying wouldn’t help me build a boat so I got back to work building the boat but my hands were shaking and I could hear the beast coming nearer after about 1 hour one side of the boat was complete and I quickly moved on to the other side I was about half way done when I began to see the trees shake and the roar grew nearer and just as I put on the final piece of wood the koalas head emerged out of the bush and charged straight at me this time he was alone but bigger than ever, I dragged the boat as fast as I could towards the ocean and leapt onto the boat and and began paddling as fast as I could thankfully the koala was afraid of water and let out one last loud roar before scutterling back to his cave were he sat sad and alone once again.

Tia, age 13, wrote this chilling science-fiction story in our Upper KS3 Creative Writing tutorials.

In creative writing, one of the biggest challenges is often knowing how to help students get started. Students can be really enthusiastic to write, but the prospect of staring at a blank page can be really daunting for them.

To help overcome this, students were given a rough outline of a science-fiction story, (specially written by Tutor Dave), which included a typical narrative arc, suggestions for common sci-fi character types and a range of other tropes.

The story outline was broken into six sections and students developed and extended the outline of the story over the six tutorials in the topic, completing more in their own time if they wanted to.

“What a tense and exciting story, Tia. I love the gruesome descriptions and the way you have used sound in your writing to create truly scary imagery; I really feel like I can imagine this monster coming towards me making that terrifying clicking sound. The way you have made sure the pace is really slow when the creature advances towards you also really helps build the tension – brilliant! One thing you could try for future writing is to vary the starts of your sentences more frequently. It can be easy to end up having lots of them starting with ‘I’, but you can help keep readers even more engaged by mixing it up a little with an adverb at the start for example (e.g., ‘Slowly, I…’). There is true creativity and imagination on display here, Tia, and I think you’ve done an amazing job with this story. Well done!”

Feedback from Tutor Dave

To unleash your child’s creativity and help them to write like this, join our Upper/Lower KS3 English Tutorials.

Alone

Chapter 1

My eyes blink open and shut at least five times, before I wake properly, I stand up straight on a hard surface with no space to move. Layed in the same position for five minutes, “why am I here” I whispered to myself, Looking around the tight coffin-like room it was in I saw that it was just a glass room, there was a latch above my head but there was no escape.

I layed there thinking about why I’m in here, and how to escape. I bang my hand on the glass and bright lights shone outside of the glass room I’m in, each light flickered on one at a time, the light was so bright my eyes burned, scrunching my eyes closed, “what the, what is this place.” I cried. 

Slowly opening my eyes again, it still hurts but I need to find a way out. The light caused a terrible migraine. “Argh why let me out please” I screamed, looking to my left side I see a handprint on the glass like someone was trying to get in. “Why were they trying to get in or get me out?” I thought. Then a small plop hit the floor a few inches away from the glass, A little red drop on the floor. “Is that blood?” I panicked. 

Scrunching my eyes closed not wanting to see what was bleeding, “please let this be fake, please let this be a dream.”I cried, tears slowly dripping off my face.

 Then I realised I don’t even know my own name, I don’t remember my own life, who I was, why I was in this glass room. Did anyone care for me or was worried I was in here.

I slowly opened my eyes, scared for what I was going to see.

I quickly looked up at a man tied to the ceiling by his hands, his head facing down to the floor, His body ripped in half, organs dropping out of his body. Black goo foaming out of his mouth “is he d-dead” I stuttered, Screaming pounding my arms on the glass, “Let me out now” I screamed.Moving my head around , then I realised i’m not in a room this is like a giant testing tube. Small so I can hardly move my hands but tall so I couldn’t reach the latch on the roof.

Looking around the room outside the glass tube, it was like a mad scientist’s evil layer like you see in kids shows, But looking at the technology, it was a lot more like a spaceship, “was this a spaceship or something like a workshop sort of thing” I thought. I looked to the left and saw the man hanging off the floor, a burning sensation filled my throat, I covered my mouth, “no don’t” I cried, tears dripping down my face. Then I vomited all over the floor “damn it, Im stood in vomit” I screamed. My body is shaking and feeling weak. “My throat, I need a drink” I coughed.

I stood there with my eyes closed, crying for at least five minutes “remember just let me remember.” I sobbed, I slammed my head on the glass. Suddenly I remember a small flash of my memories. I was standing in this room and a man with a blurry face came to me “you’ve been chosen im sorry.” He said and locked me and another man in this room. What does that mean? I thought, why did he lock us in here? Looking around the glass container I noticed outside of the container was a book. Maybe that will tell me why I’m here.

I stood there in my own vomit thinking, “Has the air gotten thinner.” I thought, Then a high tech screen popped up on the glass. “Oxygen at five percent. Activating extermination mode.” A robotic voice said. “No, what. Do not activate the extermination mode please!” I yelled. Then a blue liquid started filling the glass container. “No stop, please stop.”I cried. It was slowly rising up, further and further. It was up to my waist, trying to move my arms to the latch. “I cant reach” I screamed. Air was completely gone now and the liquid was up to my neck trying to yell but water blocked my mouth. liquid reached above my head. “Now all I have to wait for is to die.” I thought.I closed my eyes, managing to move my legs. I looked down, “Yes” I screamed inside my head. The liquid was at the top of the container. I paddled my legs up to the top of the container, grabbing the latch and pulling it down. It opened up, Jumping out the liquid and breathing heavily.

Chapter 2

I sat there on top of the large capsule, “what my limbs, they’re so weak” I whispered. Climbing off the top of the capsule, I fell off the glass container. “Ow, my arms are s-so weak.” I said clutching my arms, I got up and walked straight in front where the door was. Pounding my arm on the glass, “hey anyone there” I yelled, then I hit my hand too hard on the door, I yelled in pain “damn you” I yelled.

I looked around the door trying to pry the door open, everytime my fingernails hit the metal door a small ting, that was the only noise in the room otherwise it was silent. “Help anybody,” I said, choking back my tears. Why would anyone want to help you, I can’t think of anyone who cares for me, so why would anyone want to help me, “why do I bother no ones gonna come, so I need to fend for myself.” I said, tears dripping down my face.

I looked around the door, gripping its sides to try and open it,I breathed heavily “just open!” I yelled, Then out the corner of my eye I see lying on the floor is a small diary, I walked over to it, my bare feet clunking on the floor every step I took, I opened the diary. The old stained yellow pages. “How old is this book? It started off in two thousand and forty seven, the newer entries were in two thousand and fifty six. “So it’s around twenty fifty six?” I said. 

I read one of the entries “It is twenty fifty five, the first successful clone has been made. We named her Sallie off the dead body of the person we made her off.” I sat there “t-thats my name, i-im a clone.” I screamed, my heart thundering in my chest. “I’ve been a clone, this whole entire time!” I screamed, wanting to know more so I continued reading. “The clone has been preserved in the pods, we have made measures so if the clone has not escaped by

time oxygen runs out we will have no choice but to exterminate her. “ So that’s what happened, “This is a test for intelligence and  to see if it awakens.”

We have learned that these clones have enhanced strength and speed. But the downside is they do not have good durability.” I sat there confused, frightened and shocked. I flick at least ten pages forwards. “January tenth, twenty fifty six a creature got onto the ship, we locked michel chained to the roof in the containment room with the clones. In case the creature comes in and he will be the bate not the clones.”

“oh that’s what happened to him” I said, not daring to look behind me at him.

Starting to feel ill again I continue reading. “This creature is not to be messed with and it got into the room with the clones. We do not open the door, it seems to have gotten through the vents” I reread the last passage. “Wait, clones?” I said.

I looked behind me and saw there were another dozen pods behind mine, I walked up to them and saw they were all covered in the blue liquid. All of them inside drowned, dead. “No no no” I screamed. Falling backwards onto the floor, Curling up in a ball on the floor. “Why would someone do this?” I cried. Laying there screaming, choking on my tears.

Lying there, it must have been two hours.

 I just felt nothing, “nothingness, life is meaningless, we all just die. In the end I don’t care anymore, I’m not going to feel emotions anymore.” I said laying on the floor. Then I saw a small red blinking light on the wall. “What is that?” I walk over to it and a massive hologram screen shows up. I jumped away from it, I had only seen one thing like this before “no, no not that blue liquid stuff” I yelled “please don’t do this to me” I yelled, But then I realised its a video.

I looked at it in confusion. Large red writing showed up on the screen “Motion sensed in left south wing hallway.” Then the screen flashed, A large hallway was there then a growling noise came. I looked around the room “what where is that” I mumbled. A large claw came on the screen and then the screen went blurred.

Chapter 3

I stood there, “what was that thing” I gasped, I picked up the diary. Scrolling through the pages “come on, say something about t-that thing.” I stuttered. “Nothing, how can there be nothing about a creature with giant claws, this is outrageous!” I screamed, “how am I supposed to defend myself against this thing? It doesn’t look too jolly , so I doubt it will be a good thing.”

The room started flashing red, a loud robotic voice said “power shutting down.” I looked around frantically, “no no no! It can’t get worse!” I screeched at the top of my lungs. Scrambling to the diary “come on there’s got to be something about this in here”

Looking through the diary I stop to read a page, “Sallie is showing incredible signs, all of the other clones show no signs of brain activity. So I did the most important thing any scientist would do, I cut off all the oxygen to the other clones and divertied it all to sallie, but if her body stays in there for to much longer, she may experience some kind of brain functions and

physical pain for a while after she awakes. But there’s something on the ship with us so we hope she awakes before it gets to us all.” I sat there eyes wide open, “that sick bas-” I paused, The lights shut off, chink chink chink Each light made that noise as it shut off, sat there in darkness then there was a whirring noise. The door opened, “no that thing can get in here now, I shouldn’t have said it can’t get worse earlier, horror movie 101 never say it can’t get worse” I thought, “wait how do I know that.” 

I stood up and stumbled to the door feeling may around the room by holding on to the wall. Every step I took a small thud echoed around the new room, “I need to get out of here and get back to- e-earth, was that the planet’s name?” I thought.

“I have to save this ship, my life and get home.” I thought, “to earth. earth “ I thought again, “I like that name, it makes me feel safe and at home.”

I walked down the hallway, the cold metal flooring making my feet sting. A small growl came from around me, I jumped back in fear, then my stomach was in pain. “Why is that noise coming from me? And why is my throat so dry… am I hungry or thirsty? Is that this feeling,” I thought.

Walking down this endless corridor in darkness, “I have to admit this is quite a bit frightening.” I thought, my stomach made the noise again, I winced at the pain it was causing me, walking for longer. “ I can’t see anything, where even am I, all I know is that right now I can’t speak or that thing will find me.”

I walk further and further in the darkness, then the whirring sound again. A door opened, It sounded like it was in front of me, I walked forward.

The most amazing smells filled my noise, “wow” I dived around the room looking for the source of the amazing smell. Until I found my hands on the source of the smell. It was squishy, I stuffed it into my mouth “mmm” I smiled, I went to find more of this amazing discovery. I stood on this thing on the floor and fell forwards. Clunk my head smashed against the floor, I bit my lip to stop me from screaming in pain. I grabbed onto the side of a table, my hand hit a button on the table. A big blue screen lit up on the wall, Illuminating the room a large image of an old man with wispy grey hair, wrinkles on his face. He was wearing a white coat like a scientist.

“Hello Sallie, you may have found the dairy in the chamber room, from that you may already know what you are. And if you are seeing this I will more than likely be dead, i could have died of old age or…” He hesitated for a few seconds, “There is a creature on the ship with us we don’t know how it got in or how to defeat it.. I’m sorry and you may have remembered some things like Earth or movies, well this is because we extracted memories out of the woman you’re a clone of..” Loud clattering came on the screen and then it shut off. Just a white light.

With this limited light I ran to the sink, and grabbed a cup of water and drank it down in one gulp, I stepped to a table, just then the large screen shut off, “oh no.” I mumbled, I reached my hand onto the table feeling for anything to help me. My hand felt a rubbery material. I picked it up and felt a button, I pressed it and a light flickered off the end of the contraption. I remembered something , running through a forest with a girl, giggling and then I picked up a shovel.

“These aren’t my memories there hers not mine, whoever she is.” I said.

Click.

Click.

Click.

 A noise on the ceiling went. I looked around, shining the torch around the room, but nothing. Thud, something dropped on the floor. I walked over to the thing, it was the body of a man. I stumbled backwards and fell on the floor shuffling backwards. I heard a scuttling noise across the roof I threw the torch, It landed on the table the light shining on the wall, and there was a massive monster, green slime costing its body, razor sharp teeth, saliva throthing out the things mouth, but there was some sort of human like body shaping to it.

Chapter 4

I sit there on the floor, my heart pounding.

Click.

Click.

Click.

 it made that noise again, “why can’t I move, oh I wish I could just leave this place.” I thought, shuffling my arm slightly, it made a small noise.

 The thing started looked up and stared at me. Slow, low growling its body slowly crawling off the wall crawling towards me, Its feet made a loud ding noise on the metal floor every step it took.

 I grabbed the flashlight and shuffled backwards. The thing stopped in the middle of the floor. My breathing heavy, “I can’t take anymore of this, I feel like I’m going to faint.” I thought, I slowly stood up, taking slow steps backwards one at a time, the tiniest noise everytime I took a step.

Finally I reached the open door of the room,

I looked behind me clutching the torch. I turned around and ran for it. Loud noises echoed every time my foot hit the ground. Then I heard small shuffling noises from behind me. 

Click. 

Click. 

Click.

It was near me, I ran picking up my pace, I smacked my head off a wall falling to the ground.

I winced in pain “running in darkness was not the best option but putting the torch on it could alert the creature.” I thought. The creature’s noises had stopped now…

I forgot I had the torch in my hands, I stood up. I stood there for a few seconds feeling dazed, it was like the room was spinning around. Then a loud noise came from below me,

The torch hit the floor, suddenly coming to my senses I looked down at the torch. About to run for it “the torch is my only source for light should I wast time grabbing it or-”

Click.

Click.

Click.

I dive forwards grabbing the torch, It clenched in my hands, My head still aching “I guess this is the terrible durability it was on about in the book” I thought. I ran as fast as I could. The thing was behind me. The sound of claws pounding the ground as it chased after me.

I ran through what felt to be a doorway, the thing sounded like it wasn’t following me. I switched on the torch, shining it around the room. Then next to me I heard a plop, a green frothy liquid was on the floor beside me and then I looked up, the thing was on the roof. I jump to the side diving under a table Panting heavily, I stare around the room. I switch off my torch, Trying to look around the dark room.

Click.

Click.

Click.

I sit there, waiting, watching, listening. For this thing to leave. A small scuttling noise came from behind me. I swiftly turn around, nothing.

Click.

Click.

Click.

I heard it slowly getting closer, and closer.

“Will it attack me, will it find me. What’s going to happen? I don’t want to die.” I thought, tears well up in my eyes. I sniff my nose.

Click.

Click.

Click.

The thing scuttled towards me…

Sitting in the darkness, hearing the monster get closer and closer. “Should I stay here or run for it… well in that book it said I had better stamina? Was it, I can’t remember… it could still catch up to me but-”. I could see the monster now, even in the dark. It crawled closer, it was lurching over me.

I look at my hands and see them coloured in crimson red blood, my head started having terrible stinging pains…

I screwed my eyes closed, I stood there in a forest, a shovel in my hands.

I dropped the shovel on the ground and looked down at my hands, they were covered in blood.

I opened my eyes again, “no no no!” I screamed, I didn’t do this, it was that woman. I scrambled away from the creature, slowly standing up I looked at the creature and walked backwards. “I’m Running I won’t stop. I will keep running until I find a way out of here.” I panted,

 I turned the torch on, scared of what I would see.

Chapter 5

I ran somewhere. “But I still can’t see, how do I know it’s not behind me.” I thought. I crouched down on the floor, too scared to put on my torch. I grip onto the torch and pipe, Every small noise I turn to find nothing. “You’re just scared, you knocked the thing out.” I whispered to myself, My eyes started to feel extremely heavy, Like at any moment they would just close forever. “I can’t sleep, that thing could attack me at any time. Stay awake.” I whispered, hitting myself in the face to forcibly stay awake.

My eyes slowly closing, “no stay awa-”

A loud clatter hit the floor,

Click.

Click.

Click.

I clench the flashlight in my hands, my body not moving, My breaths become quicker, my heart rate faster. My hand slowly moved across the torch.

I finally blinked, now it was like my eyes were glued together. Using my fingertips to sense the button now. I feel it, about  to press the button… “no!” I screamed, I dropped the torch. Moving my hands to my eyes, Managing to pry my eyes open. I looked around in the darkness slowly moving my hand around to find the torch in the darkness. Suddenly I feel my hand shoot a stinging pain across my body. I looked at my hand, inches away from my face. There was a small dot like a needle shot, I felt and it hurt worse than other pain.

Remembering when I thought this thing off, Suddenly I remember the thing touching my hand with its tail. “Is it like some sort of scorpion? Is that why my body’s so drained of energy?” I thought.

Click.

Click.

Click.

Darkness, no torch to help me see…
The monster dived at me, I screamed louder than I ever had before,
I tried with all my strength to push the creature off my body but it was still too strong.

I painfully move my arm to the left and grab the pipe, I screw my eyes closed. Shoving the pipe in its mouth.
The Monster fell onto the floor hearing it cougth. I move my arms forwards pushing my body across the floor.
Then a pain shot throughout my body, I stopped and yelped in pain clenching my chest.
Tears filling my eyes, “what is happening!” I screamed.
The creature’s head shot up.

Click.

Click.

Click.

I twisted on the floor, “get off!” I screamed.

It just kept dragging me, I pushed my arms in front of me to try and escape, but it was just too strong. Remembering the events of the day, I burst out into tears. Screaming at this monster I will stop it, It just kept dragging me…

Its razor sharp teeth sinking into my ankles.I closed my eyes,

“It might as well be over, I really don’t care anymore. I dont have the energy, the strength… Nothing.” I thought.

I slowly opened my eyes, it was still dragging me, I looked around the darkness and saw something on the floor, I reached out my arm, with some sudden adrenaline my fingers barely touched it as the monster continued pulling me.

I had the object in my hands, Running my finger along the blade. “It’s a knife…” I thought. Stuffing the knife in my pocket, It still dragged me.It dragged me to a room, the only room with light, After not seeing light for so long my eyes burned like fire was melting them. It stopped in the room. I layed on the floor not able to move. “Hello..” A voice said behind me.

My body jumped, at the noise of another person speaking. It walked up behind me and I felt them put their high-heel on my back, pinning me to the ground. My body winced in pain, “ah, who are you and what are you doing?” I gasped.

They grabbed my arm and pulled me up against a wall and sat me so I could see their face. My body froze, “no no no.” I whispered, not believing what could be happening.

“They said you were dead.”

“Well they were wrong weren’t they!” She laughed, “my dear clone, I never knew you were such a fighter… Do you know my real name? It’s Alice, so you can call me that.

Sallie was just a fake name.” Alice smiled, cupping her hands around my face.

“You… Please. Help me,” I whispered,

“Ha! Do you think I’m a good guy? You worked so hard to destroy my creation here. I don’t think I can help you.” She smiled, her red velvet dress draping across the floor and her big black heels hitting the floor as she walked to a chair to watch me.

“Do you know what’s happening, Well my dear creation stung you so and the chemicals in that are sowing your heart rate until you die.. And I have the one and only cure…I can’t wait to watch you die.” She laughed maniacally, Tossing a bottle in her hands. “Y-you M-mmonnster” I whispered, not even wanting to yell.

“Do you want to know my plan? I’m taking my dear creation here to Earth, and we’re going to become more in control of the government, the royals and the rich. Because fear conquers all… Do you remember Amai?” She smiled, I suddenly remembered all of these memories of Alice and Amai being great friends…

“We were the greatest of friends until our twenties because I got an amazing job with a lot of technology… I killed her and  made her something better. My sweet creation is her. I needed someone who trusted me and had the required strength, smarts and more…  So I killed her and snook her onto this ship, with all the technology I needed, where for years I created my beautiful monster and more like poisons, which you already know about.” She screamed, an insane look on her face.

I looked into the monsters eyes, They were the soft brown, tears welling up inside them.

“She wants to be set free…” I thought.

“Amai im sorry,” I screamed, running at the creature with the knife,”What are you doing!” Alice yelled, I stabbed at least ten times in the head. “What are you doing, fight her off, you idiot!” Alice screamed.

The creature didn’t even try to fight me off, it just smiled, I could tell in her eyes she was finally free.

I turned around with hardly no energy left, I dived at Alice, pinning her to the ground.

I went to stab her in the head but she moved her head just in time.

“You don’t know why I did it, do you?

All of my life, as far back as I can remember. No one cared for me, not even my own parents, and then I realised that the only way to be noticed and respected in this world is to be famous, rich… so I decided to make a monster to be respected and I could buy all the friends I want with all of the money”

“I just wanted to be loved, but I did it the wrong way…I deserve what’s coming.” She cried, “Amai was your best friend, she loved you. But you couldn’t see that.” I whispered,

“I’m sorry,” She whispered.

I grabbed the cure and drank it, I was still tired but I wasn’t dying, and I walked out the room. There was a panel and I locked the door and put zero oxygen on…

“She must have put all the energy into that room so I need to find out how to get it back.” Running through the darkness of the hallways searching for the source of power.

Chapter 6

I slowly step in the darkness, into a new room. My body is still aching, but still I walk around the room searching for a way out of here.

“Where is the electricity room!” I yell in frustration. Sensing my away around in the darkness, I feel something. “A switch?” I grabbed the handle and pulled it down. A small torch fell out of the gap in the wall. I turn the torch on, shining it around the room, suddenly I see a piece of paper nailed to the wall, I slowly step over to it. Shining the light on the paper. It had little passageways and labelled rooms on it. “A map!” I shouted in joy. Slowly grabbing each edge of the map I pull it off the wall.

I look at the small labelled rooms on the map. “where is it?” I repeat over and over to myself . Suddenly out the corner of my eye is a little room on the map labelled “electrics”.  I stare at it. Trying to find out where I am now “I grab a red marker from the desk and circle the Electrical room. I stand up a skip in step. “ I can get out of this place” I whisper, excited as I could ever be. “So maybe I could look around for any main places to find out where I am.

I walk out of the room torch in one hand map in the other, I step around looking for any obvious places I could be. “Where am I,” I mumble. Suddenly I smell the most amazing smell… It was the food from before. I dived through the hallway in front of the door of the source of the luxurious smell. I sit on the floor shining the torch on the map. My eyes were running back and forth around the map until I found a room labelled “lunch room” . I grabbed the red marker out of my pocket and circled the room on the map. “No… Why does it have to be on the other side of the ship.” I moan, standing up and preparing to take the long walk around to the other side of the ship.

My feet aching, my body exhausted, I finally made it to the room. Standing in front of the room, I collapsed on the floor, so tired “How- Big- is- this- ship.” I gasped, I slowly stood up and walked into the room. The floor was wet like it had flooded. “Why is it wet?” I mumbled, I walked around the room to see at least thirty cables tied together, One of them sticking out joined to a room named “Sitting Room.” 

“Hmm, that must be the room where…She was.” I mumbled, not even wanting to say her name.

I pulled the cable out of the room, I grabbed all of the cables and felt them thinking how I could put the electricity on.

I grabbed the long line of cables, it was almost the length of my body.  The ends sparking, I touched it and lifted the cables, which were extremely heavy as I was about to separate them to put into the right places I heard.

Click.

Click.

Click.

I looked around the room, shining my torch on any hidden corners in the room. I noticed at least ten of those monsters on the top of a large cabinet. The same sad eyes but some were blue green all different colours “not again…” I think my eyes are welling up with tears.

I step backwards on the dry flooring, holding the cables in my hands. The monsters advanced closer.

Click.

Click.

Click.

My body walked backwards further and further until. I stopped when a wall was behind me… The monsters slowly moved closer and closer. I scrunch my eyes closed. Too tired to run, too tired to attack, I remember before I walked out of the room to turn off the oxygen, Alice pointed her finger at me. Then I didn’t know what she was doing but if I looked up there were more of them. She sent them after me before she died. They must have escaped the room after I locked it, But who are they…. The crew, it must be.

I looked at them, their eyes so sad. In pain it was like they were ventriloquist dummies and couldn’t control what they were doing.

I looked at them, my heart ached to see the sadness on their faces. I looked at the floor and then it hit me. “I can destroy you once and for all.” I whispered, I ran around the room and lured the creatures towards me. It stood there in the water. I grabbed the cable and threw it in the water. Just in time I jumped out the water, The creatures fell to the ground small puffs of smoke flying off them. I smiled weakly. Then I realised I don’t have any electricity to escape now. 

Part two is coming soon…

Rose, age 14, wrote this chilling science-fiction story in our Upper KS3 Creative Writing tutorials.

In creative writing, one of the biggest challenges is often knowing how to help students get started. Students can be really enthusiastic to write, but the prospect of staring at a blank page can be really daunting for them.

To help overcome this, students were given a rough outline of a science-fiction story, (specially written by Tutor Dave), which included a typical narrative arc, suggestions for common sci-fi character types and a range of other tropes.

The story outline was broken into six sections and students developed and extended the outline of the story over the six tutorials in the topic, completing more in their own time if they wanted to.

“This is a brilliant piece of writing, Rose. It is rich in description and you have structured it in such a way as to clearly convey your protagonist’s sense of confusion by making them discover what is going on at the same pace as the reader. You have used a wide range of sophisticated vocabulary and techniques in your work, which adds a certain maturity to your writing. You might want to, in future pieces, consider the effect of similes a little more as there is sometimes a clash between the tone of your writing and the tone of the similes you have chosen. However, this is excellent overall, Rose – well done :)”

Feedback from Tutor Dave

To unleash your child’s creativity and help them to write like this, join our Upper/Lower KS3 English Tutorials.

A Science-Fiction Story

I wake with an urgency, every thought in high definition, as if sleeping has become a danger. I desperately need to move, to shake the numb, heavy sensation out of my body. I feel as though I haven’t moved since the last ice age, like a worm stuck in limbo. My brain is thick and slow but I am aware of thinking even though my head is as empty as a bird’s nest in December, and has been for the last millenia. Instinctively, I know that even the smallest movement will be exhausting to the extreme but at the same time, I don’t remember ever being this energised. The effort of breathing is immense, every breath draining me of the little strength I have like a sponge squeezed of water. I am magnetised to the floor, cold on my exposed back and I realise I am not wearing any clothes. For the first time, I notice the temperature. It’s freezing and my newly awakened brain springs into action, imagining all the cold things in the world: 

As cold as ice. That’s a classic.

As cold as frozen water. Wait a minute, that is the same as ice!

As cold as snow. 

As cold as cucumbers. 

As cold as a snowball on a very cold winter morning. Wow, that one is terrible!

As cold as a frog. Frogs aren’t even that cold… 

As cold as a dead man’s nose. 

The last one is rather unsettling so I try to turn my thoughts to something a bit more positive but now all I can think of is a dead man, eyes staring blankly up at me, jaw slack and mouth slightly open, nose frighteningly blue. 

Unable to turn my thoughts away from the face which I now realise to be my late father’s, I decide to try opening my eyes which, until now, I hadn’t been aware are closed. I take a minute to steel myself before attempting the seemingly gargantuan task. Sixty seconds pass. Then another twenty. Ten more. Five minutes…

After procrastinating for a while (a really long while), I finally open my eyes with surprisingly little effort. Blinding white light. Searing pain penetrates my skull, rickashaying around the inside of my head, confusing my thoughts, my mind, me. My brain is on fire. Flames burst from me in a piercing scream of pure agony. Everything goes suddenly black.

I slowly regain consciousness, memories coming to me in disorderly flashes. My mind is as tired as a worn out shoe but I try to work out the chronological sequence of events, piecing together the little snippets of information to form a beginning, a middle and an end. The details elude me but finally I have a storyline which, admittedly, isn’t comparable to the works of Shakespeare but it is something: waking up, the cold, the white light, then blackness. I begin to wonder what my story is, the story of my life, not just the last half hour. I have a name don’t I? And a family? How old am I? These are all things I should know but don’t seem to. It’s all so frustrating but I mean to find out the answers to these six questions:

1. Who am I?
2. What am I?
3. Where am I?
4. When is this?
5. Why am I here?
6. How did I get here?

Question 3 seems to be the most straightforward to answer so I decide to start with that one. I hesitate before opening my eyes again but this time it doesn’t hurt although it still isn’t exactly a pleasant sensation as I look around at my surroundings. Everything is white and I can’t quite distinguish the different features of the room I am in. I lift my arm, wanting to know how far I can reach. My hand quickly comes into contact with something clear, cold and hard that seems to be the sides of a container. My fingers, shocked by the intense numbness now creeping slowly up my arm, stumble drunkenly across the surface of the ‘solid air’. I feel desperately to each side in an attempt to determine if I am inside or outside of the container. I am inside. Trapped.

I push against the air, fear making me strong. I push and push and keep on pushing. The numbness is overwhelming, flowing down my arms and flooding my body with a terrifying sense of not feeling. But still I push with all my might. It could be my imagination but I think I feel it start to give. My heart throws itself painfully against my ribs, pumping energy through my weary body with a frantic rapidity. I push for what seems like forever. My arms begin to grow tired but my new found strength doesn’t fail me. Eventually, it shatters. The air splits into a million pieces, each shard hitting the floor with a faint tinkle. Breathing a deep sigh of relief, I let my arms fall back down to my sides.

…

I sit up, surprised when my body obeys the command. As I look around from this new perspective, I can just make out the details of my surroundings. All the white surfaces seem to blur into one before me but, as my eyes adjust to the intense lack of colour, I can almost see the faint outlines of blank windows, busy control panels and high-tech chairs slowly growing stronger. I seem to be inside a spaceship from a rather dull futuristic novel. Everywhere, there must be hundreds of bleeping monitors and flashing lights but it is utterly silent and white. Slowly, my eyes and ears begin to process all the colour and noise as if a filter has been lifted, letting everything in. My ears start to pick up the beeping and buzzing I had imagined there would be, conveying meaning and urgency to whoever can understand. As I look around with my colourful new lens, I see for the first time the amazing vibrance and variety of hues that cover every surface, each with a different significance and each as bright as the next. One light in particular catches my eye. It flashes red, danger, help. I try to stand, desperate to investigate. Swaying on the spot, I feel light headed but manage to remain upright. I take one shakey step, then another, and another until I reach the red light. I don’t know what it means but it definitely isn’t good. I call out. My voice is rough and faint, unaccustomed to shouting. I try again and this time the noise is stronger, more certain. It rebounds off the walls, repeating one word over and over again; ‘help’. 

My discovery has somewhat dampened my satisfaction of answering Question 3 so I decide to try 5 and 6. I turn my back on the light as I try to banish the sense of foreboding that has settled in the pit of my stomach. 

Mine isn’t the only pod. There are hundreds, thousands even. All in neat, orderly rows, with just enough space to walk between. I stagger over to the nearest pod, tripping over my feet like a newborn giraffe. I lean on the solid air in an attempt to stay upright as I peer into the pod. Inside, I see a woman. Her hair flows gracefully, as if underwater. She looks so peaceful but, deep down, I know she is dead. My heart quickens but I manage to stay calm. What if I am the only living person on this ship? I look into the next pod. A child lies as if asleep, also dead. I look into another and another. Everyone is dead. I am the only one left. 

I know its stupid but I am just really relieved that they aren’t gruesome corpses, that they look almost happy inside their pods. I should be thinking about escaping or something serious like that but all my thoughts are focused on living and being the only survivor. That is a horrible thing to think and I instantly regret it but I can’t help but skip a little as I make my way back towards the control panel and the flashing red light. 

I run my hand over all the levers and dials, trying to resist pressing a button. All the colours are exciting and new, blinking back at me from all angles, reflecting off the different surfaces. Pressing just one button won’t hurt will it? My hand might slip and accidentally push that big purple one. It wouldn’t be my fault really. I might not even press it. My finger hovers over the button, wanting action after the never-ending nothing. The ship swerves just as my hand is about to accidentally slip, sending me flying to the floor. 

I sit up, disorientated. The fall seems to have brought me to my senses. My head spins as the gravity of my situation hits me for the first time. Who is driving this thing?!

I have the strength to run now, so I do. Staring into the flashing red button, I notice a really, really tiny word written on its surface. My eyes struggle to focus, blurring the letters together. The first letter is very small – a ‘t’… or an ‘f’? The word definitely has four letters. I think it ends in ‘el’ but I can’t be sure. I curse my smudgy eyes. Maybe it is ‘ci’? The second letter could be ‘y’. ‘Tyel’ isn’t a word and nor is ‘fyci’. The ‘y’ might be a ‘u’ or possibly an ‘x’. I wrack my brain for a word that fits at least some of these requirements. I come up with nothing so I decide to continue eliminating possibilities through trial and error. It can’t be ‘fxel’ and ‘tuci’ doesn’t sound right. ‘Fxci’? Or ‘Tule’? Umm… fu- fue- fuel! It says fuel!! My heart begins to beat faster – the ship is running out of power and I am the only living person (as far as I know) who can do anything to avert the disaster. 

Panic overwhelms me, drowning my rational thoughts in the murky waters of despair. Resurfacing briefly, I start to understand the answer to Question 5. Why am I here? I breathe deeply, dragging truth and fear into my lungs. I have been kept alive as a kind of ‘just incase’. The lack of fuel led to the demise of my fellow travellers as the machine became unable to sustain so many people without sufficient energy. It sensed the impending doom so woke me in the hope that I knew how to fly a spaceship without any fuel or an instruction manual. I don’t even know where the steering wheel is!

To be continued…

Brody, age 13, wrote this somewhat horrifying science-fiction story in our Upper KS3 Creative Writing tutorials.

In creative writing, one of the biggest challenges is often knowing how to help students get started. Students can be really enthusiastic to write, but the prospect of staring at a blank page can be really daunting for them.

To help overcome this, students were given a rough outline of a science-fiction story, (specially written by Tutor Dave), which included a typical narrative arc, suggestions for common sci-fi character types and a range of other tropes.

The story outline was broken into six sections and students developed and extended the outline of the story over the six tutorials in the topic, completing more in their own time if they wanted to.

“You have put a huge amount of effort in to creating tension and ensuring the advance of the alien upon its prey leaves your audience scared stiff! I especially like your use of structure to make us pay attention to the clicking of the alien and how that structure makes us wait, building tension before that awful moment when it pounces. I am pleased that you didn’t feel you had to rush through just to get to the end and that the quality of your writing was your priority. Well done, Brody :)”

Feedback from Tutor Dave

To unleash your child’s creativity and help them to write like this, join our Upper/Lower KS3 English Tutorials.

A Science-Fiction Story

As I woke a bright beam of light began to boil my sight. This light must have damaged my brain since I couldn’t remember where I was or even who I was, had I been in a tragic accident? Have I lost my ability to remember? Still unable to see I reached out my arms, however, they came to a sudden stop, some sort of barrier. My vision slowly returned but I was seeing double, I was in some kind… pod? Within a room, but it didn’t look home. Just like my vision my memories slowly came back, who I was, where I was and what I was doing here. Within a few seconds my claustrophobia kicked in . I started viciously panting and kicking my legs around to try to escape from this glass prison. After a while of squirming around like a scorched moth, a small puff of smoke was released from my chamber, then I was to follow. 

Slowly I stumbled out of the pod, my legs violently shaking. Trying to grab onto the side of the pod, since my legs felt like half eaten jelly. I don’t know how long I had been in a slumber, but it hasn’t done my muscles any good. As I was holding onto my pod, I tried to scream for help but it was no use, there was nobody to receive my cries. Looking around to see hundreds of identical pods, however, one was empty as someone else was awake, only time could tell . Feeling as if I was going to faint, my head started spinning and my legs felt as if I was going to collapse, I blacked out for a second or two, as I started to regain consciousness I felt paralyzed, and a sense of despair. I tried to push up from the ground but like my legs, my arms had failed me. The only glimpse of hope I had was the ability to breath and move a pathetic little finger. But It was something. As I started to regain strength in my upper, I sat up to encounter red lights that looked to be sirens of distress, followed by a despared scream.

The screams eventually died out and with it the power. As I started to retrieve strengths within my legs, I stood up only to witness the others slowly wake up, but no pods were opening, they started squirming like a fish out of water, then gasping for air. I rushed to a pod. I tried everything I could think of to try to open it, with my petty remaining strength. It was no use. Every single one of them layed there, exhausted, pale, dead. Many questions were going through my head, but the one that really spooked me was the screaming coming from speakers. There was at least one thing I knew about this ship from hell is that I wasn’t alone. I stumbled to what looked to be an exit. From there it’s mainly just hallways cloaked in darkness. I walked for what felt like hours, until I saw a slight flicker of light. I didn’t know if it was just my mind playing games with me but, what other option did I have other than to start chasing it. Once I arrived I found a power box with torn wires and dents in the metal. Someone or something has hijacked the power. I sighed in despair, I had no idea how to fix the thing. My mind was focused on that until I heard a crash I viciously turned  around only to catch a glimpse of a tale covered in scales. I went to investigate when I found a vent lid with blood stains bleached on it. It was watching me, I was its next target, its next prey.

I was alone, within a ship I have no memory of, trapped with a scaly bloodthirsty beats. Trembling with fear, I knew I wasn’t safe, so I decided to find a place to call camp. As I stumbled through the ship, cautious of any movement in sight, I discovered a desk accompanied by a tall chair isolated within darkness. I slowly approached it, only to find this creature’s work, sitting there torn apart from the legs up, ribs and other bones stuck out of his fleshy remains. Clicking, a continuous clicking noise. 

It was approaching. 

I hid under the desk.

Click

Blood dripped down forming a puddle beside me. 

Click.

I was still horrified by what I had seen, but I had to keep silent… my life depended on it.

Click.

 Shaking with fear, I could hear its every move, its every attempt to smell flesh and blood.  

Silence.

Silence.

 Silence? What had happened to it? I curled my trembling fingers around the desk, and peered around, looking around left to right, it was nowhere to be seen, my heart started racing and with it my breath. I felt stressed, but relieved somehow until I felt something drop on to my hand, blood? As I cautiously looked up to see where it came from, it lay there up on the ceiling, its jaw locked in place, preparing to pounce.

It was then that I saw a pipe sticking out of the wall disconnected from the others. I could hear a faint hissing sound coming from it and as I took one last breath, I made a dash for it. Once I got my hands around it I haled it facing creature.  I needed it to come closer.

Click

It was my only chance to escape.

Click

It crawled closer.

Click

Closer.

Click

It viciously hurled its body towards whilst I slid to one side pulling the pipe with me, the steam blinded it which gave me just enough time to run, oh and I ran, I took every turn, every staircase, anything which looked promising.

To be continued…

Looking for a different approach to education? Get in touch to see how we can support your home education journey.

Lottie, age 11, wrote this compelling speech in our 6-week Real-life Writing topic on speech writing. Thank you for letting us share this speech, Lottie!

Writing powerful speeches can be difficult. You need to not only be able to write well, but also really care about your subject matter. Lottie’s passion for her subject really shines through in this speech and it blew the group away when we read it out at the end of the topic.

Often, children have something to say about a subject they care about, but are unsure how to get their point across in a powerful way. So, before writing, we analysed some famous speeches such as those from Martin Luther King, Winston Churchill and Severn Cullis Suzuki and drew on the techniques in their speeches to help create our own.

All students in the class took part, and this is just one of many fantastic examples.

“What an amazing speech, Lottie. You convey your passion for this topic with force and clarity; not always easy to get this balance right. I think you should be extremely proud of this work and you might have a career as a speech writer ahead if you wanted it! Next time, you could try including an anecdote to give a clear example of an issue affecting one person. This would help the audience connect even more emotionally with your subject matter and feel even more persuaded. Great work!”

Feedback from Tutor Dave

To unleash your child’s creativity and help them to write like this, join our Upper/Lower KS3 Real-life Writing Topics on Wednesdays.

The Mental Health Pandemic

Today I am here to try and raise awareness about mental health amongst young people in our school systems. Some people may think that mental health is something that can start to need help and attention when people are grown up, perhaps when they are working or trying to run a family and provide for many people, and of course, that is the case in half of these cases. But it is not the only time that we should be looking after our mental health in life.

Schools are supposed to be a safe space, a space where a young person can go to learn, but these days we know too well that too often school is the least safe place in a young person’s life.

Lottie, age 11

From being very young, as soon as we start to be aware of the world around us, we start to form a sense of self, of who we are, of where we fit into our family and our friend groups. For some people that comes easily and they manage to make their way through schools with little to no problems, but others find the pressures of trying to find where they fit into the groups around them at school harder than ever, or maybe they have a lot of pressures at home or are suffering from the pressures at school such as exams. All these pressures can build up inside a young person’s mind at any time during their lives . 

Schools can give out a lot of pressure for young people, in a country where bullying is happening in every single school, it’s almost at pandemic levels, in the whole of Europe England has the highest rates of bullying in a school setting. THE HIGHEST RATES OF BULLYING IN EUROPE. If you are unfortunate enough to be at the receiving end of a bully or a group of bullies then this can have a seriously negative effect on your mental health. There is no end in sight for the young people suffering at the hands of bullies. No more going home to get away from it. It follows young people around, with attacks on social media, there seems to be no getting away from it. Schools are supposed to be a safe space, a space where a young person can go to learn, but these days we know too well that too often school is the least safe place in a young person’s life. Surrounded by teachers, who seem to be unable to stop the bullies. Parents who do not hold their children accountable for bullying. It is left to carry on until something very serious happens.

Social Media is a way of life for many young people in the country. Every day they are faced with looking at “perfect people” around them on lots of different platforms such as, snap chat, insta, facebook, they all show one way to look to be able to fit in with them, thin, slim, big bum if you are a girl and it is no better for boys, fit, masculine, muscley, not allowed to show emotions. All this does is build up an ideal in the mind of a young person that they are not good enough. If they do not look the way that is shown and praised all around them on social media this leaves them feeling that they are less than. A constant comparison to unrealistic body and beauty standard.Most of the images you see, have been edited multiple times, filters used and this goes to show that the people who do this to themselves before they post their photos online are also insecure about the way they look. It really is pandemic, most young people have felt the pressure to try and fit in, in how they look, or dress, or how outgoing, or chatty you are, even how many friends you have.

If you see a young person displaying any of these signs, you could try to get them to open up by simply speaking to them, explaining that you are there whenever they want to talk, or if they want to have someone to talk to at break.

Lottie, age 11

It’s easy to see why young people are constantly feeling bad about themselves. Knowing the signs to look for in a young person around you, to see if their mental health is suffering, could be that maybe they are quieter than usual, they might struggle to make eye contact with you, they might stay on the edges of groups of people, their school grades might start dropping from their usual levels. If you see a young person displaying any of these signs, you could try to get them to open up by simply speaking to them, explaining that you are there whenever they want to talk, or if they want to have someone to talk to at break. 

Look after the young ones around you because you don’t know what’s going on inside their head or at home. They are our future generation. Let’s look after them to look after our world.