Darcy, age 12, wrote this exciting and imaginative story in our Lower KS3 Creative Writing tutorials.
In creative writing, one of the biggest challenges is often knowing how to help students get started. Students can be really enthusiastic to write, but the prospect of staring at a blank page can be really daunting for them.
To help overcome this, students were given a rough outline of an adventure story, (specially written by Tutor Dave), which included a typical narrative arc, suggestions for plot points and character development.
The story outline was broken into six sections and students developed and extended the outline of the story over the six tutorials in the topic, completing more in their own time if they wanted to.
“Wow! What an amazing story, Darcy! I think I will actually have nightmares about those koala bears… You have worked so hard on this and it has really paid off. It’s a fun, exciting adventure story that kept me hooked throughout. I particularly love how your character throws a stick into the river and it bursts into flames – what a terrifying sight! Really imaginative and creative work, Darcy – very very well done :)”
Feedback from Tutor Dave
To unleash your child’s creativity and help them to write like this, join our Upper/Lower KS3 English Tutorials.
The Crash
As I sat in the small cockpit of my friend’s private jet I dreamily gazed out of the cockpit window watching the birds in the distance swooping through tall, green pine trees on top of a giant snowy mountain. I could see a group of small, light grey dolphins playing catch with a bright, yellow pufferfish.
I was feeling warm and relaxed in the early evening sun until a cold chill ran down the jet, I quickly brushed it of thinking I was just being silly and continued to gaze out of the window when another chill sped down the jet and the controls began to move by themselves, pointing the jet towards the ocean. I felt like someone had just tied my hands up so there was nothing I could do to stop it, time itself began to slow down and the whole jet went quiet. I could hear my heart pounding in my chest and a whoosh whipped around me, then the plane sped up to full speed and SPLASH! The plane was quickly sinking into the magnificent ocean. I tried to swim away but I felt like someone was holding me down and I couldn’t move. I was getting scared. Time was running out and oxygen was running low so I quickly kicked out and managed to dislodge whatever was holding me down and break a window to get to the surface.
As my head broke the surface of the water I saw an island about three miles off. It should have been an easy swim but out of nowhere a jet black shadow swam under me and the sky turned black as a lightning bolt fled across the sky, then things got dangerous, the waves grew 30 feet tall and came crashing down on my head almost drowning me. In a break between waves I saw a figure cackling in the middle of a giant wave with ghostly figures circling it but when it noticed I had seen it, it disappeared and the sea was calm with a lovely blue sky but something was bothering me and that was… I know that figure but who is it? Then it came to me. It was my brother. I couldn’t believe it but then I told myself that people turn on you just like the wind.
Once I arrived at the beach of the island I realised how dangerous this situation was but I was in no state to be making big decisions so I decided the only thing I could just about manage is building a simple shelter to sleep in for the night. When I woke up it was still very dark and I couldn’t think for the life of me why I had woken up until I heard my stomach give a loud rumble and I realised I hadn’t eaten in 12 hours. I was both hungry and sleepy( but hunger won.) I sleepily wandered around this luscious, green island. I was plodding around the beach as the sun turned the sky to a warm orange. I was feeling less sleepy and more happy but still very hungry and not a coconut insight so I decided to head inland to see if I can find a pond or some sort of water. As I wandered through the luscious, green forest I felt warm and then I heard it, it was a woosh and splash of a waterfall. I ran to it knowing that if there was water there would be something to eat and drink. It was stunning. A beautiful, crystal clear waterfall gliding down a smooth, sparkly rock face, I drank as much of the water as I possibly could, then caught some fish using an old spear I found hidden in the bushes and that’s when I heard it a loud screech and roar mixed together came whooshing through the trees making my hair fly back behind me.
It was the next day and I was feeling much happier because the sun was shining and I had made a base near the waterfall. As I pranced happily over to the waterfall the water turned bright red which turned my mood from happy to afraid I decided to chuck a stick in and it immediately burst into flames suddenly the loud screechy roar fled out across the island and the sky turned red,my whole camp was on fire, I was forced to flee. As I fled across the island the roar stopped and the sky was normal again but I was terrified, I had finally realised quite how dangerous this island truly was. I began wandering around wondering what to do next. I knew I couldn’t go back to the waterfall because of how dangerous it was and then I saw a small cave just big enough for a person to crawl through. As I crawled through the narrow space I saw some torches in the cave ahead just where the cave widened into a space big enough for me to stand in. I stepped into the wider space and then a kind looking koala stepped out in front of me and said , ‘ Good evening young lady, may I politely ask how you managed to get in here. ‘
I stepped back in alarm, koalas are not supposed to talk and this didn’t sit right with me.
‘ h-how can you speak? and how can I understand you?’ I said, still partly dazed.
‘Well ‘ the koala began. ‘ you see there is a special magic on this island that makes people be able to understand any animal’
‘Well thank you for answering my questions and in return I will answer yours’ I started, ‘ I became stranded on this island by my evil step brother and was seeking shelter ‘ I thought it was best that I left out the fact that I did have a shelter but it burnt down.
.
He looked at me puzzled for a moment and then scuttled off down a bit further in the tunnel, that was odd I thought to myself. It did not take long for the koala to return, this time holding a blanket, pillow, bread and water he held it out towards me and nodded at it, I took it and thanked him for the items, then he was off down the tunnel again. I began to make a bed and eat my dinner when the sound rang out around the cave.as I went to go to sleep i felt the blanket and the underside almost felt like it was made out of skin but not any skin it felt human.I managed to settle down and fall asleep but my dreams were filled with nightmares of what is making that sound and how they had found human skin.
I woke up to the koala shaking me and telling me that I must leave immediately, he seemed panicked and almost afraid. I got up with a start and looked around wondering what was going on, but I saw the koala waving his hand at the door so I got up and ran out of the cave, yelling my thank you’s to the koala. All I knew is that if he was afraid then I should be too. After a long time of running I slowed down thinking that I was far enough away but I also wanted to go back and see what the koala was so afraid of. After debating what to do next I decided to make some weapons and somehow kill whatever is making my koala friend so frightened. As I was foraging for things I heard an ear piercing scream then the roar rang out around the forest with the roar a chill ran down my spine but I got back to the task at hand and found an old rusty sword and with a bit of sharpening it was perfect. I began my march feeling confident until I reached the cave and saw my friend’s body lying dead in a giant web in front of a giant evil koala.
When I saw the koala,it stared back for a minute then roared and came straight for me. The clouds turned black and a thunderstorm began. I ran in the opposite direction as fast as my feet could carry me but I felt like I was being slowed down by some sort of weird force but I kept pushing. I could feel the koalas breath hot running down my neck as I ran the ground became slippery, I shot a glance behind me and saw a horrifying sight there was a swarm of little koala carrying machetes in their mouths and the giant koala at the front close enough that I could feel the ground shake with every step he took. I ran as fast as I could and then when he looked away for one second I dived into a big bush and hid. The giant koala came slowly towards the hedge and began sniffing around right by my face. I could feel my heart in my throat and my blood was racing, I began to breathe heavily, afraid I would get caught, I slapped my hand over my mouth. After what felt like an hour the koala continued on his way thinking I had run away. I waited a little while until I was sure he was gone, then I crawled out of the bush (covered in scratches ) and had a walk around to try and figure out what to do next.
I eventually made it to the beach and saw an old boat bobbing on top of the ocean a little way out. I decided that this was my best chance to escape the island so I began to slowly swim towards it. When I finally reached the boat I was exhausted and hungry but as I was about to climb in the boat and drive off I realised that lots of the side planks had disappeared,wait no they had been smashed, so the only thing I could do was slowly drag the ‘boat’ back to the shore. When I got back it was almost dark and I needed sleep so I settled myself down on a pile of leaves and began to doze but a soon a I got into a nice deep sleep my dreams were full of nightmares of the giant beast and I couldn’t sleep so I got to work on the boat finding bits of driftwood and securing them on using some old nails I found and using a stick to hammer them in after a long time half of one side was complete and I was feeling happy with myself until I heard a roar of in the distance and my progress fell apart. I wanted to cry but I knew that crying wouldn’t help me build a boat so I got back to work building the boat but my hands were shaking and I could hear the beast coming nearer after about 1 hour one side of the boat was complete and I quickly moved on to the other side I was about half way done when I began to see the trees shake and the roar grew nearer and just as I put on the final piece of wood the koalas head emerged out of the bush and charged straight at me this time he was alone but bigger than ever, I dragged the boat as fast as I could towards the ocean and leapt onto the boat and and began paddling as fast as I could thankfully the koala was afraid of water and let out one last loud roar before scutterling back to his cave were he sat sad and alone once again.