Sam, age 12, wrote this exciting and engaging fantasy story in our Lower KS3 Creative Writing tutorials.

In creative writing, one of the biggest challenges is often knowing how to help students get started. Students can be really enthusiastic to write, but the prospect of staring at a blank page can be really daunting for them.

To help overcome this, students were given a rough outline of an adventure story, (specially written by Tutor Dave), which included a typical narrative arc, suggestions for plot points and character development.

The story outline was broken into six sections and students developed and extended the outline of the story over the six tutorials in the topic, completing more in their own time if they wanted to.

“What an amazing story, Sam! You have worked so hard to make this exciting and engaging through your very vivid and (somewhat gory!) descriptions. It’s full of interesting characters and magical moments as well as some good old-fashioned action at various points! It’s really well structured and you’ve done well to keep control of the story over such a lot of writing – I particularly like the clever ending that wraps everything up very neatly. Really well done, Sam.”

Feedback from Tutor Dave

To unleash your child’s creativity and help them to write like this, join our KS3 English Tutorials.

Other Wordly Adventure

Yet another maths lesson. They never seem to end. Mr Jones just somehow cannot stop talking. On and on he goes, until I begin to feel my eyes getting heavy and sleep beckoning.

Mr Jones or what we call him Mr drones, crept up silently behind me tapped me on the shoulder with his pencil, just before I drifted off into sleep. He shouted and shouted until the lesson was over and then after all of that he gave me a detention slip. This was a perfect way to start the week.

As everyone flooded out of the school I ran to catch up with my friends but instead of a “Hi” I got insults and instead of chatting about the new season of fortnite they took turns mocking me “we have had enough of you stealing our kills and bragging about how good you are at fortnite” Said John “Yeah, don’t join us tonight you can play on your own” Said Colin “Fine, I could do with a break from having to revive you” I reply.

I turn around start walking back towards my house my fists clenched as I walk up to my front door I here my dog barking and scratching at the door he must have spotted my through the window as I open the door I hear the whir of an eclectic mixer, mums probably baking again ever since she saw this boring bake off show she’s had her mind set on entering and ‘winning’ but I think if she even get chosen to compete that she will be the first to leave.

I walk into the kitchen and try to tell my mum about what happened today but all she said in reply was “yes you can play fortnite” while hurriedly kneading some dough and then runs over to a saucepan and stirs it.

As I walk out of the kitchen I feel a force inside me that I’ve never felt before. It spreads from the tips of my toes to the end of my fingertips fills me with strength. I shiver as I feel the power within. I run up to my bedroom and jump on my bed and slip under the covers. I look at my fingers as they glow faintly. I feel a power moving through them, I lay there for a while thinking of what to do. After thinking it over I decide to sneak out in the middle of the night to try and clear my head and decide what I should do about my power.

After my parents had gone to sleep and I could hear their muffled snoring I slide my window open and climb out onto the overhanging roof of my living room to my right there is our fluffy orange stray named Carrot he would follow me home from school and and he was so cute we had to adopt him. I reach a hand and rub his fluffy chin, the hair on his chin was so long it made him look like a cat version of Dumbledore. I grab on to the trunk of an old birch to my left and slide down it. I hop over the fence and start walking down the alley next to our house.

As I walk I think of what would be the best thing to do about my power. Just as I start thinking of who I should tell about my powers, something jumps off a nearby wall and onto my back. Fear courses through my body but so does the power from earlier. My fingers start to glow brighter and brighter as I feel the power getting stronger. I wrestle with the creature on my back and then suddenly a beam of light shoots out of my fingers and hits the creature that’s clung to my back. It whimpers in pain and turns into dust. Just as I think it’s safe another beam of light shoots from my fingers and hits someone’s fence, I stare at the big charred hole in the middle of the fence. Another 3 beams of light shoot from my fingers one hits another fence and that explodes showering everything with bits of wood another hits the ground and creates a crater in the ground spraying bits of dirt everywhere and the other hits someone’s house causing the brick to crumble revealing someone’s living room I try to stop it but more beams of light keep shooting from my fingers hitting everything around me

I look around at the destruction I caused: holes in people’s houses, broken fence panels, craters in the ground, trees that have fallen over and broken glass from greenhouses.

I watch as a tall skinny man dressed in black walks up the alley that’s now littered with bits of wood and debris he smiles showing his gleaming white teeth each one immaculate but his emotionless eyes hint evil

“You did all this?” he says without the tiniest hint of surprise as he gestures to the destructions around us “yeah, I didn’t mean to though it was-”

 “I already know what it was” he interrupts in a low voice

“You’ve been watching me haven’t you, you’re not going to report me to the police?”

“No I wasn’t watching you neither will I report you to the police” he says in an unreadable tone “you wouldn’t do me much good in prison” he mutters under his breath.

He takes a step closer and starts to speak “Back where I come from I have an army fighting against the terrors in our land but my leaders powers is growing weak and i’m looking for someone better more powerful to help lead my army and you… you would do the job perfectly as I need someone strong young and powerful which you have definitely proven”

As he speaks a chill runs down my spine

“So how about it?”

“How about what?”

“Will you come back with me and become our new leader?” He says I think for a minute and say “No im sorry but I belong here”

“But we need you our planet is dying”

I sense this is a lie and say “im sorry but i’m not coming”

“here you are just a ordinary boring kid but with me you could be the answer to all our problems and be the next great leader”

“I’m not coming!” I say in a stubborn and angry tone

“YES YOU ARE!” he bellows.

I feel rage building inside me and the same power from earlier spreading through my body, my fingers start to glow faintly and a beam of light flashes from my fingers flies towards the man he holds out his hand the beam of lights hits his hand and explodes, after the smoke clears away he is just standing there with a faint blue bubble around him. The explosion hadn’t harmed him, that blue bubble must have protected him, He glares at me and then turns away and walks into the distance.

Fear crawled up my spine like spiders. How could I explain to anyone about the damage I caused? No one will believe a kid has magical powers. they would believe he trashed their fence though. In the distance I could hear the birds singing their morning chorus.

Just as all hope seemed lost, I noticed a fluffy orange stray cat, my fluffy orange cat but he looks a bit different but I don’t care i’m just happy to see a friend “Hi carrot” I say

“My name isn’t Carrot” the cat says in reply, I stumble backwards

“What are you?” I say trying to stop my voice from shaking

“I am a wizard”

“what?”

“My name is Quintus-” A cloud of smoke swirls around the cat and a bright light flashes from within the smoke. As the smoke cleared it revealed a short old guy that looked like he hasn’t shaved for a while, he was wearing a tattered old robe and a scruffy old pointed hat

“Are you homeless? And where did Carrot go?”

“No i’m not homeless” he says in an irritable tone

“And your cats up there” he points at the birch tree (the one I slid down earlier) where Carrot was getting ready to pounce on some birds that were nesting up there

“Carrot NO!” I shout

“Come back here now!”

“Would you like some help?” asked the old man

“Yeah but there’s nothing you can do to help” I say while waving my arms and trying to get Carrot’s attention. With one flick of his wrist a beam of light flies over to Carrot envelopes him in light and pulls him off the tree and gently drops him on the ground, I run over to Carrot and scoop him up into my arms “You naughty little thing” I say rubbing his chin.

“And soon you will be able to do that with the right training” “I’ve been watching you and you’ve passed the test”

“What test?” I ask

“I have been waiting for someone like you to train.”

“If you were watching me can you tell me who that other guy was?”

“Oh yes Lucius he’s a bad tempered fellow I wouldn’t mess with him if you don’t have to, I’m glad you didn’t go with him, he was trying to add you to his army that is controlled by the evil king Clagor who isn’t fighting the evil but is evil.”

“If you’d like I can teach you how to defend yourself from people like Lucius and we need help fighting back against evil that’s why I was sent to find someone like you.”

I think for a minute and then I say excitedly “Yeah sure I’ll join you.” Carrot jumps from hands onto the floor and wonders off
“Do you want to know how to make that glowing orb that got your cat down from the tree?”

“Yes please” I reply

“Ok think of a memory that made you angry”

I think of earlier today when my friends were insulting me

“Ok i’ve got one”

“Let the power build up inside you and let it gently flow out of your fingers but don’t let go of it keep it in front of you and them use your mind to to move it gently at first then try moving it faster”

“Ok” I closed my eyes thinking of earlier when my friends were bullying me and I felt the power swelling in my again I let it gently flow out of my fingers into an orb I open my eyes and see the glowing yellow orb in front of me

“I did it!”

“Now try moving it” says Quintus, I concentrate and then try to gently move it forward after mastering that I tried flying it further away from me

“Try picking something up” Says Quintus I fly the floating orb over to a rusty old hammer of the floor, I try picking it up but it flips out of the orb

“Don’t try to scoop it up onto the orb grab it with the orb” Quintus instructs. I try to grab onto the hammer using the orb, I fly up holding onto the hammer

“I’ve got it!”

“Well done” I fly the orb high into the air until it touches the clouds and then fly back down, I fly the orb towards someones window my plan is to wake up whoever’s in there I get closer and get the hammer into position I try tapping on the window but I accidentally put to much power into it and as the hammer makes contact with the window it shatters into a million pieces

“HEY WHO’S THROWING STONES AT MY WINDOW!”

“Drop the cloud” instructs Quintus, I let the powers slip from my fingers and the glowing or fizzles into smoke and the hammer clatters to the floor “Lets go before we’re caught” Says Quintus as he opens a portal, I hesitate then walk through the portal with Quintus.

The training had been brutal. The first week was all about controlling my power and being able to use it when it was needed. The whole time, I was not allowed to have a good rest, I would get up at 8am and end my day at 8pm. Then it got worse, Quintus decided that I should get as much training in as possible and now he wakes me up at 6 in the morning for training and finally lets me go to bed at 10pm! Quintus turned out to be an amazing trainer though and I got the hang of things really quickly.

Finally, after months of hard work Quintus said

“You’re ready…” As he said those words I felt happiness build inside me, “For the final test,” he finishes. all the happiness drains from me and my shoulders start to sag

“Lets get it over with” I reply. This was worse than I thought. After he explained everything I had to do he told me to set off into the forest where the final test would take place.

I start walking into the mass of trees and bushes, There’s no path to follow but I keep walking. After walking for at least 20 minutes I start thinking or turning around but Quintus said to walk straight until I find a big clearing with a small gold and silver birch tree in the middle but I haven’t seen anything yet so I carry on walking. Another 20 minutes go by and I decide to turn back, but as I’m turning around I catch a glint of something shiny in the distance, I turn and squint my eyes but I just can’t make out what it is. I proceed towards the shiny object. I push apart some bushes to reveal a clearing with a small gold and silver birch tree shining in the warm sunlight.

I walk into the clearing and look around to see no sign of Quintus, he must be late. I’ll give him a minute. I give him several minutes actually but he still doesn’t show up, I start getting worried, I get up and decide to go back and search for him.

I turn around to see a black figure with the same emotionless eyes that hint evil.

“It’s you again!” I growl “I told you no!”

“I know what you said puny little thing”

“Then why are you back?”

“Came to get my revenge” He says smiling “Are you ready?” He whips out two knives from his belt and lunges at me. I jump to the left just missing the knife he swung at my neck. “Come here so I can show you what I’m really capable of!” he says with a sinister laugh, He throws a knife straight at my face I create a glowing yellow orb and use it as a shield just like Quintus showed me. The knife hits the orb and the knife falls to the ground “YOU LITTLE-” shouts Lucius. I move the orb down to the knife, pick it up, fly it a little way into the air and throw it back at Lucius. He’s focused on me so he doesn’t see the knife hurtling towards him. It hits him straight in the chest and he doubles over violently coughing as blood spills from his mouth. The blood coming from his wound starts to dye his top a deep red. He gets back up blood dripping from his mouth. He only looks stronger. He pulls the knife from his chest and without warning throws it at me, I hurriedly bring the glowing orb toward me as fast as I can but it’s not fast enough the knife comes right at my face and just in time I put my arms up to protect me and shut my eyes. I feel the knife piece my left arm and I scream in pain. I opened my eyes out of instinct to check my arm. The knife has gone straight through and you can see the tip of the knife on the other side of my arm. The pain is overwhelming and just the sight of my arm makes me light headed. The blood runs down my arm and collects at my elbow eventually the droplets getting too heavy and falling to the ground. Just moving my fingers is a task that I’m unable to do. Lucius laughs a deep evil laugh “no one to save you now” he walks closer and pushes me over backwards I hit the floor my head landing on something hard, my vision goes blurry but I can just make out his bloody face in front of me “any last words?” he says with fake sadness in his voice, I don’t reply “well it won’t make any difference im still going to kill you” he says lifting a knife above his head, I close my eyes waiting for death to come.

But nothing happens. I open my eyes to see I have regained some of my sight. I look around to see Quintus driving Lucius back with a very large beam of light, Lucius seems to be getting weaker with every second. Suddenly Lucius falls to his knees. Quintus stops and he too falls to his knees, I get up and run over to Quintus’s side.

“Are you ok?” I ask “No i’m not but I need you to listen to me, Lucius will not leave you alone you were lucky today I’m sorry I wasn’t here earlier, but I need you to fight against Lucius and win but to do that you will need this” he hands me a glowing orb the same colour as that flouting cloud I made earlier but it’s the size of a big marble “You must use this to defeat Clagor you need to fire it right in between his eyes” He wheezes “Go now” he says before his eyes stop moving and his breathing slows, I start to tear up Quintus was the one who helped me and taught me everything I know and now he’s dead, I get up and say “I will defeat the villain in your honor.”

After sitting by Quintus for a little while and wondering whether I should continue or not, I decide I must continue and defeat the villain and stop him from taking over. I use my power to envelop my wounded arm in a glowing yellow mist and after a few minutes my arm has healed completely and the knife that was once wedged in it is lying on the ground.

Quintus said that I must find Clagor and somehow get close enough to him without his whole army noticing me and fire this little marble thing at his face and hit him right in between his eyes, but with what do I shoot it with? I examine the little orb wondering what I could use to shoot it, as I roll it in my fingers I notice some tiny writing that reads “Benelli Super Black Eagle II” I remember seeing that name somewhere but I can’t put my finger on it. As if by magic it comes to me, the little gold plaque on my dads wall right below his Benelli Super Black Eagle II his favourite gun he use to take me to the woods and we would shoot wooden targets hanging of trees I never could hold it it was to heavy but dad would help me and then he would we would pull the trigger it was exhilarating watching the shotgun slug fly from the barrel, hit the wooden target and smash the wood into a million pieces.

I summon a portal just like Quintus had shown me. Its yellowy glow is like the warm sun and I can feel it beckoning me closer. I emerge into the old alley next to my house, it’s morning and there is police tape everywhere that reads “Crime Scene Do Not Cross” but I ignore it and proceed. But something stapled on a telephone poll stops me in my tracks. I try to slow my breathing and I hope that it’s not true but every time I look back it still says the same thing “Missing Person, Name: Sam, Age: 13, Gender: boy, Last seen, May 7th 2025..” my voice catches in my throat “May 7th” I check my watch and it’s August 19th. That was 3 months and 12 days ago, I read the rest of the missing poster “Hair: black. Reward $1,000,000” I don’t even know where my parents got one million dollars. I hear footsteps coming toward me and frantically look for a hiding place. I spot a

Bush and leap behind it. I hear the footsteps fade away and only then do I realise I had been holding my breath. I get up and start towards my house checking nobody is watching. As I walk up to our house I pick up the brick that has the spare house key hidden beneath it, I take the key and place the brick back where it had been a moment ago. I put the key in the lock, turn it and open the door, I peer inside and see Carrot sitting there “Hello you” I say, Carrot replies with a soft meow and rubs himself against my legs “are you hungry?” I seem to have said exactly what he wanted because he started frantically trying to climb my leg. He follows me through to the kitchen as I rummage through the fridge looking for his wet food “Here it is” I take the wet food and scoop it into his bowl with a spoon “Well I will leave you to enjoy that” I say to Carrot. I remember the reason I came here and go upstairs and into my dads room it feels very empty in here apart from the gleaming Benelli Super Black Eagle II that sits on the wall above his bed, I climb onto his bed and lift the gun of the wall the cool metal of the gun sends a shiver down my spine and it has a good weight to it, I pull out the glowing orb from my pocket and try to figure out how to load it after fiddling with the gun for a few minutes I manage load the orb into the gun and with shaking hands I turn the safety off and rest my finger on the trigger but before I fire I decide that it’s probably safer to try it outside. I pass Carrot on my way out and close the front door behind me. I turn to lock the door but when I turn back a police officer is staring at me from across the road. “Give me the gun kid” He calls in a soft but commanding tone, I don’t know what to say if I give him the gun I may never see it again and all hope will be lost of winning the battle against Clagor but if I keep it I will get into a lot of trouble if I get caught “Drop the weapon” The police officer calls as he unclips his gun from its holster, I start to panic as he points his gun at me “Put the gun down!” he shouts but I dont instead I hold it as if im ready to fire, the police officer starts toward me I panic and almost drop the gun but as I do my finger catches on the trigger and the golden orb flies from the barrel

The police officer screams but it’s already too late the orb flies into his forehead and a sickening crack rings out like a gun shot as his skull splits but as quick as the orb had entered his head it exited out the back, blood and bits of his brain tissue following, the orb comes back round and lands neatly in my palm of my hand, the officer falls to the ground not even a hit of life left, blood starts to pool around him painting the road a deep red along with his clothes. I load the orb back into the gun while examining his face its a mix of blood and torn tissue, there is a hole straight through his forehead, one of his eyes is bloodshot and dangling by a thread on the side of his face and the other is on the road beside him, I look up to see the sight behind him all the cars, road and walls are covered in either blood, tissue or a mixture. I get up and walk off leaving the mess of blood behind me.

I return back through the portal. As the world around me comes into focus I notice the attack. An army of trolls thunder towards me. I jump behind cover.

The trolls come after me but this time I’m ready. I point the gun at the closest troll and fire, green blood oozes from the bullet hole. The orb flies back around and lands in my palm. I grab it and load it back into the weapon aiming it at the next troll firing, after doing this for a little while the trolls start to retreat but I don’t let up. Only after the last troll runs into the distance do I stop firing. Just as I think it’s all over the trolls come back but following them is a troll that’s at least five 7 times the height of me, It must be Clagor “Is it you who has been killing my underlings?” Clagor booms

“Yes and your next!” I replied.

Clagor gathers his strength and lunges at me, I jump to the side missing him by a thread. He turns around and I point my gun at him and fire. He narrowly misses the bullet before he swings a kick in my direction, I roll out of the way but his kick catches my leg and a sickening crack rings out. I try to get back up but my leg is numb with pain. I hold out my hand and the orb flies into it, I grab it and load it into the gun.

Clagor is smiling and coming closer “Any last words?” He growls “Only one” I reply “revenge!” I fire the orb straight at his head but he doesn’t have time to move. His head splits open and a powerful force strong enough to move mountains erupts through the world, the remaining trolls get up looking dazed but they don’t seem angry anymore they almost seem… happy. I use my powers again and heal my leg before standing up.

As I look around I notice the destruction that killing Clagor created, trees that have been unrooted are lying sideways and there is a crater that Clagor’s lifeless body is lying in. I decide that it’s probably a good idea to take the gun home and hide it so no one else can use it.

As I emerge through the portal into my world it looks almost the same but all the police tape has been removed and where the dead police officer once was is perfectly clean and even the missing posters are gone. I walk up to my house but this time the car is parked on the driveway and lights are on in the house, I open the door and walk into the kitchen to meet my parents, my mums cooking I walk closer and tap her on the shoulder she jumps and turns to look at me

“Sam, Is it.. You?”

“Yes mum”

“Where have you been!”

“Im sorry I can explain-”

“You’ve had us so worried”

“Im sorry”

“And is that your father’s gun!?”

“I said I can explain”

“Wait, is it you who killed that police officer outside our house!”

“Im sorry I had no choice”

“Just tell me everything”

After explaining what happened my mum was angry but a bit proud we had dinner and then she sent me to bed. The next morning she made me go to school. I tried and I tried to convince her that I was ill but she wasn’t buying any of it. At school I bumped into my ‘friends’ and they still didn’t want to say anything nice “The kid killers coming for you next” one of them hollered at me my mum told me that there was a kid killer on the loose and he had killed a police officer it had been all over the news and social media but I knew that that would never happen.

The End

Alba, age 12, wrote this imaginative and unnerving dystopian fiction story in our Middle KS3 Creative Writing tutorials.

In creative writing, one of the biggest challenges is often knowing how to help students get started. Students can be really enthusiastic to write, but the prospect of staring at a blank page can be really daunting for them.

To help overcome this, students were given a rough outline of an adventure story, (specially written by Tutor Dave), which included a typical narrative arc, suggestions for plot points and character development.

The story outline was broken into six sections and students developed and extended the outline of the story over the six tutorials in the topic, completing more in their own time if they wanted to.

“Wow, Alba! First of all, what an incredible story. It’s thought-provoking, exciting and enjoyable to read all at once. Secondly, it’s nearly 6000 words long, which shows the tremendous effort and dedication you have put into your writing. You’ve created quite a cast of characters, developed complicated plot lines and made sure to create interesting and varied settings to keep your readers engaged. I’m deeply impressed with your story and you should be very proud to show this off to as many people as you can. Well done :)”

Feedback from Tutor Dave

To unleash your child’s creativity and help them to write like this, join our Upper/Lower KS3 English Tutorials.

PROLOGUE

Deep in the basement of an abandoned building, the group met once again. They went through the same steps as always. Placing mattresses against the walls, soft blankets over the furniture, putting the special soundproofing that was so hard to find nowadays against the door. 

Now they could be sure no one would hear, they began to assemble their instruments. They started to play their wonderful slow, soft, musical tunes.

It was wonderful, just so wonderful to hear music again. It was so soothing that some of the group started to slide comfortably into the soft fabric covered armchairs. They closed their eyes in harmony, and the music carried on wonderfully soothing the ears of all that listened to it.

Floorboards creaked above the band. Some band members started to shift in their seats and some of them even stood up and packed their instruments away, others telling the group that there was no reason to move and that nobody will ever find them in here, ‘Sit down Maria just relax, nobody will find us down here’ Said Richard  whispering in his low, booming, voice. he had a handsome black face with wonderful bright green eyes and was very strong. His wife, Maria, was a bold woman, pale and scared looking. She was very pretty for a woman living in these horrible times. She looked at Richard and whispered,  What about the children Rich? They’re alone at home, what if the Government find us?!’ 

‘Richard, Charlie, I don’t have a good feeling about this.’ Whispered Lily in a petrified voice. 

‘Calm down lily, we’ll be perfectly fine.’ said Charlie. Charlie looked quite similar to Richard, as they were brothers that was obviously expected, but Charlie wasn’t as big as Richard and didn’t have the same large muscle packed body as his brother.

The floorboard creaked again and this time Liliah spoke up, ‘Mother, Father, I think we should leave.’  

‘Alright, let’s go.’  said Richard. Everybody started to pack up their things as they heard a small creak on the floorboard and muffled shouting again. ‘Liliah, go! Go now! Quickly liliah!’ Liliah ran and hid in a cupboard.

BANG! The door crashed open and all of the group started to run for the door. Nobody could see anything in the dust that came off of the door. Everybody tried struggling past the large men to try and leave, but nobody ended up getting out of that horrible mouldy, damp, underground, abandoned place except Liliah.

With little Avery holding her hand trying to spot their mum and dad in the crowd. Surely not, dad would’ve been able to fight them off. What if dad couldn’t, what if they had guns… ‘Riri? Where’s mummy and daddy?’ said Avery, sounding a little worried, trying to keep up with me.

‘They’re ok Avery, don’t worry.’ Then they heard them, mother was screaming, she was bawling her eyes out, ‘MUM!’ She looked around stuck between two giant bulky men from the Government ‘SIERRA! NO, PLEASE LET ME SAY GOODBYE! NO, SIERRAAA!’She screamed.

They started to run through the hundreds of people watching their mum,  Avery still holding her hand, they were trying so hard to get to their mum, clothes soaked through, they were  almost there, when Sierra felt a hand on her shoulder and stopped, It was their grandma, with her face blank and stony just as if she had just been hit round the head by a wooden plank. ‘Sierra, there’s nothing we can do about it sweetheart. Nothing.’   Sierra started sobbing again, and then she saw her dad, unconscious, being carried on a stretcher with a black eye and a bleeding lip. She gasped and Avery hugged her. She lifted her up and held her tightly, then saw aunty Lily and Uncle Charlie getting taken away and wondered where Liliah was.. Did she go to the music club that day or not…? Mum, Dad, Uncle Charlie and Aunty Lily all got thrown into this massive chained van with blood dripping down the side and the words; “GOVERNMENT VEHICLE” sprawled on the side of the large van. They slammed the doors and chained them shut, locked at least three padlocks and got into the back of the van. They drove off, never to be seen again…

CHAPTER 1

THE MURDEROUS MEMBERS

My name is Sierra, or Riri for short. I live in a place called Musical, although, it is the very opposite of musical. There is absolutely no sound at all allowed except the sound of the wind or the sound of the rain rebounding off of the small rectangular mirror in me and Avery’s bedroom. The only music that we hear are the musical cries of the bird family that live on our shelf which come in and out of the small crack in our window. They had chicks quite a while ago so they don’t really come back at all except for the days that Avery leaves out our scraps for them, I think they are the only species of bird left which sing still. Our world is so miserable nowadays that all I can do is go out to the field and scavenge for food to feed us. But I am so sure that when I was little we used to sing and play music and everything was amazing. Life was worth living for back then. I miss Mum and Dad so much, I haven’t seen then for 5 years. In fact, nobody has seen them for years, well, not since they got caught. I live with my younger sister, cousin, grandma and Terry, the cat. It’s not too bad living with grandma and Liliah, but I miss the rest of the family, like Uncle Charlie and Aunty Lily. But you have to live with it, we have no choice.

All I know about the Banning is that there used to be a group called the ‘Ministry of Music’, the Government didn’t know that it was made up of some of the Government workers. Their names were Bill, Freddy, Lachlan, Mia and Dolly; The ‘MM’ I do not know why they had a secret musical group because music was allowed back then. Rumours say the reason the ‘MM’ group got banned was because children kept going missing or some came home looking dazed and didn’t remember anything about where they had just gone. When the ‘MM’ group got found out the Government blamed all of the missing kids or the mind wiped children on them. They took all of the ‘MM’ group members and moved them away in the same van that they took mum and dad away in. And the Government forced them to change their group name to the Murderous Members instead. I am so angry with the Government, they’ve made everybody miserable and starving just because of banning stupid music. The only people in the Government who are upright idiots are the Governess Gigi Whiskers, her husband, Samuel Whiskers and their assistant Phillip Guss. They’re evil, I despise them more than I despise being on this planet.

Sitting up in bed, I can now feel its springs on me, I stand up and stretch my legs, how long had I been sitting down for? It felt like hours, maybe days, or even months, I looked at the clock: 3pm. I walked over to the door and opened it. Grandma was playing ‘guess who?’ with Avery. 

‘Hello Sierra! Sit down, play with us darling.’  

‘Sorry Gran, I would but I am going to go for a walk to stretch my legs but maybe later!’

‘Please Riri?!’ Said Avery, I raised my eyebrows and said;

‘Later,  Avery.’ She groaned and rolled on her back.

‘Where’s Liliah?’ I said frowning

‘Went to the shops with James.’  Said Grandma

‘She won’t be back for a while then, I think she likes him a lot.’ Avery laughed;

‘Hah! Like you know about love life, all you do is scavenge and lie down all day.’ I snorted;

‘What else is there to do?’ Avery opened her mouth to retaliate when grandma spoke;

‘Now now, girls, relax, I’ll get started on dinner and you Sierra can go on that ‘walk’ you were going on.’  She smiled, 

‘Ok Grandma.’ 

‘Be back by 5pm please Sierra.’

‘Okie dokie Gran.’ 

‘And don’t let the music bite!’  I grinned and shut the door behind me, I walked down my usual path not taking much notice on where I was going and I walked into a lamp post, rubbing my head I sat up and looked around, I was in what looked like and abandoned estate, it was very eerie and a little scary.

I was starting to debate whether to carry on or turn back. Eventually I decided to carry on as there was nothing to do and curfew wasn’t for an hour and a half so I decided to explore as well. I then saw an underground tunnel and walked down it to get away from the never-ending rain. I saw writing on the wall; “REBEL, MM, 5PM 23RD OF SEPT MM UNDERGROUND MM MEET, BE THERE OR BE SQUARE, WRITE DOWN YOUR AGE AND FULL NAME HERE; ”

“16yrs AND OVER ONLY.” I gasped, rebel, MM, 5pm, 23rd of sept, underground, MM meet… No, it couldn’t be, a rebel group? Mum and Dad’s group were the only rebel MM group. There was a pencil in my pocket, I was so tempted, but curfew is at 5pm Sierra! What about gran? I told myself….

I took out my pencil with a shaking hand and wrote down; Sierra Pilkins, age; 16.

MM UNDERGROUND MEET..  There was only one thing for it, to go to Mum and Dad’s underground secret hideout place, and there I went..

CHAPTER 2

THE REBELLION

I walked back the way I had come, and instead of going left to Gran’s house, I went straight on to the square. It was deserted, except a few rodents and pigeons eating the scraps of precious food that people had dropped, I walked on, I was a little nervous but fearless. The floor was wet, and my walking boots were getting soaked through, yet I carried on, and saw the abandoned estate house. I ought to be careful, I told myself, there will most likely be a few booby traps. I picked up a stick I found on the floor and threw it at an odd looking tile in the square and it opened, and large spikes flew out of the brick tile, and snapped the stick in two. I walked towards the trapdoor, which you would never be able to find if you didn’t know where it was hidden. Just as I was about to grab the handles to open the door, the large clock on the clock tower struck 5pm, I was supposed to be at Gran’s house eating the last meal of the month which we always celebrated, well, everybody else did, except me. For me it was just another boring, useless month of being alive. I held the cold metal trapdoor handle which blended in with the brick tiles, they were so smooth and cold. 

I opened them, and climbed down the wooden ladder, which was now rotting. It had probably not been used since mum and dad gotten taken away. I touched the damp floor with my shoes and shut the trapdoor, I walked forward, and heard muffled voices. They probably hadn’t put the special soundproof material around the room. I had only gone with mum and dad to their music groups once, I was very good at playing the violin. I knocked on the hidden door whose handle had started to rot just like the ladder had. Someone opened the door, I looked at them and saw an old lady, with a broad smile and smooth white skin. I said hello and looked around, there were a few kids in the same year as me at school, Jaqueline, Jason, Daniel, Amy and Liliah.

I gasped, Liliah? My cousin? 

‘Liliah? Is that you?’ She was holding the piece of paper that I had written my name on only an hour previously. 

‘Sierra? What are you doing here? I just saw your name on the paper!’  smiling I said

‘I thought I’d join in, see what the rebel group was up to, why didn’t you tell me?’ She sighed;

‘I was really scared Sierra, what about Gran?’  

‘I know, what should we do?’ 

‘Hold on? Are you sure you’re here for music?’  She frowned;

‘Obviously? Why would I be here?’ She still looked a little suspicious, I was starting to get nervous. Why was Liliah embarrassing me in front of everyone? I thought. The room was dim-lighted and all the furniture was covered up in the same material that mum and dad always used when they used to do the ‘MM’ group. It looked very intimidating and there was lots of dust on all the furniture, so it had definitely not been used for around 5 years.

‘Hi Sierra!’ Said Daniel

‘Oh, Daniel, hi!’ I said, a little bewildered from his sudden appearance.

‘When did you get here?’ I said turning away from Liliah. 

‘Been here the whole time!’ He said, a little too enthusiastically. 

‘Great!’ I said, trying to hide the sarcasm in my voice.

‘Why don’t I tell you about our plans?!’

‘Sure.’ I said, trying to smile. Daniel had always been nice to me, but I hadn’t really taken much notice of him. 

‘Thanks.’ I said stiffly. He smiled and carried on;

‘We are starting a rebellion plan to fight back against the Government, we need everyone we can get, the plans are, we are going to make a distraction, most likely a protest.’ He said in a horse whisper. ‘With everyone, we have the postman convinced, so he’s going to post leaflets through everyone’s doors, saying to meet at the square for a protest against the Government.’ I raised my eyebrows and said;

‘And you think people will have the guts to stand up to the Government, even if they have no food or hope?’ He grinned and said;

‘We’ve already thought of that, we wrote at the bottom of the letter;  FOR A MOVIE, From, The Government.’ I nodded and this time managed a grin. ‘So, you’re basically asking me to help you?’ He smiled and replied;

‘Yup, and you must not tell anyone it’s a lie.’ I thought about it for a few seconds and said; 

‘Do I have any choice?’ He smiled and said nothing. ‘Whatever.’ He raised his eyebrows and said; ‘So, you’ll do it?’ I nodded. He thrust his fists into the air and said to Liliah; ‘Liliah, we have a new ‘MM’ member.’ She looked around and said to me; 

‘Come on then, let’s go back to Gran’s house.’  I grinned and thought; I’m starting to like Daniel. And waved goodbye to everyone. And Liliah and I walked home together.

CHAPTER 3

BETRAYED?

The next day, we had a normal day of being bored. I was pacing up and down my room, with Liliah in my wake watching. She was biting her nails. I was resisting, she was more nervous. She had planned it all. She kept saying; ‘What if we get betrayed, are you sure you want to join in?’  I just kept nodding when she brought this up. It felt like hours had gone by, but we were still four hours away from the gathering, six o’clock, seven o’clock, eight o’clock; Avery went to bed at that point, and Grandma fell asleep too around nine o’clock. BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP. The alarm went off, it was time, time for the rebellion to strike back. We left the house with our bags, and met up under the big oak tree that had been there for centuries. It was still raining, dripping down my back. We were all drenched, it never stopped raining in this silly place. As we started to head to the Government building, I could hear my feet splashing in the big puddles the rain was making. Everyone was silent, it was very eerie. It felt like we were being watched, although you couldn’t see the eyes that were watching you. We all stopped in front of the barbed wire fence. The girls went first with the boys lending them a leg. The girls all had metal scissors, and they cut the barbed wire off the top of the fence and climbed over. We all eventually made it over. 

We walked through the abandoned estate houses and Liliah led everyone through an alleyway, when we got back in the open. We heard muffled voices and splashing footsteps, a couple of screams and shouts from our fellow rebels. We all darted down into a manhole, I was the last one in and they grab my wrist. I tried to prise my hand out of their grip. But it was no use, they had a tight grip. As they were slowly lifting me out of the manhole a big muscly boy grabbed my hand and slit a small cut in the person’s hand which was prising mine out. I heard a familiar shout of pain and the boy closed the manhole after me. ‘Thanks,’ I say shyly and out of breath. He grinned and turned to Liliah. ‘Okay, everyone stay still. We’re going to do a head count,’   she whispered. I stood still, but was still shaking from the close encounter. Liliah frowned.. Has anyone seen Daniel?’  Nobody said anything. And then I remembered that familiar shout of pain, and the silhouetted figure I saw sprinting into the darkness. ‘I did.’ Everybody looked at me and that boy gave me an encouraging nod. I carried on; 

‘I saw a figure sprint out from our group, into th-’ 

‘YOU WHAT?!’  She gasps 

‘I knew that Daniel wasn’t to be trusted.’  I frowned at her;

‘How do you know it was Daniel?’ I said

‘Because, h-’ 

‘Look, if you let me talk, I will tell you something else’  I hissed.

She rolled her eyes and nodded. 

‘When I got my hand caught as I was going down the manhole and that boy-’…

‘The name’s Peter.’ He said smiling. His voice sounded familiar, I wasn’t sure why… Deep and soothing to hear.

‘Oh, sorry.’I said blushing. 

He grins and nods as if to say; ‘carry on’. 

‘Peter, cut the person holding me’s hand, and I heard a shout of pain which sounded like Daniel’s.’

‘Great. We have been betrayed,’  Said Liliah, clapping her hands together. 

‘Okay, there doesn’t seem to be much we can do except go back. Which I don’t think will be a good idea. Now that we have done part one of our plan.’  

 Everybody murmured their agreement. 

‘Right, that means we are now on part two of our plans.’

She wiped the sweat off her brows and continued;

‘So, the next part of our plan is to get through the abandoned estate and into the ‘Government land’

And in that moment I spaced out, thinking; I can’t believe the Government are allowed to do this. It’s absolutely outrageous.

‘Sierra? SIERRA?!’  

 ‘Oh! Yeah! Sorry!’ 

‘Remember the plan everyone!’ 

As soon as we had all climbed out of the manhole; I knew something was wrong. The street lamps were on, everybody had electricity. Some houses even had their small televisions on.. It was very eerie… 

‘Okay, this is it.’  Whispered Liliah, pointing at a gate a few feet away. 

‘Don’t you think it’s a bit odd?’ whispered Peter in my ear so nobody could hear except me. ‘That we haven’t been attacked yet? I mean, it’s almost daylight! The protest is going to start soon!’ 

‘Yeah, I know.. It is a bit odd.’ I whispered back. 

‘Okay everyone, step three,’  Said Liliah in a half-whisper, ‘The Government shouldn’t be expecting us, so this should go smoothly.’  She kept glancing at the grand double doors of the Government building. Its features were very fancy and rich looking. And quite intimidating. It was towering over all of us; like Its marble walls were about to collapse on us. I had never seen the Government building before, except when Liliah, Avery and I had to be punished for our Parents mistakes. I remembered it like it was yesterday. Me holding Avery tight in my arms, she was only seven, seven! And they whipped her. No matter how many times I volunteered to do it instead of her. She still had the scar of where that belt hit her cheekbone. This is for Avery, for Mum, for Dad, for Gran and for Aunty Lily and Uncle Charlie. This was payback. 

‘Here, take this. Remember; do not get caught.’  Said Liliah; passing me a walkie talkie. And then she sorted us into pairs. She went alone; because we were missing one of our members. Then two boys from my year went together, Jaqueline and Amy paired up; and then Peter and I.

We entered a secret passageway through a manhole which led to the back garden area of the Government building, and there we split up. Peter and mine’s job was to distract the workers left here into the back garden where we had entered and capture them all, leaving the coast clear for the others. 

Once we had gotten into the building, I looked around; the big marble statues on the pillars around all of the desks and computers and piles of paperwork. The desks were made of marble too, except for the drawer handles, they were covered in gold. Probably real gold.

We tiptoed to the lift, and called it. Ready to strangle the people which came out. But there was nobody in them.. Peter and I frowned at each other. This was very odd.. We got into the lift and I pressed the number “1”. Peter and I exchanged worried looks and then the lift doors opened; Nobody, once again it was empty. We looked around, a little puzzled. I was expecting them to be playing a trick on us or, maybe an alarm to go off. But nothing.. I pressed the button on the walkie talkie and said; 

‘All clear, everything’s empty on the ground floor and floor 1.’ 

‘Copy that.’  

Said Liliah’s familiar voice. 

And with that, Peter and I arranged ourselves in the hiding places we were supposed to be keeping the non-existing office workers hostage. We closed the cupboard door and waited for the sign that meant that mission had been completed. I peered through the small lines of the cupboard and waited… 

All of the lights went out, we had completed the mission!

 ‘EXCELLENT!’ Said Peter.

‘Shush!!’ I hissed

‘Sorry!’ He whispered.

We climbed out of the cupboard, down the lift and out into the garden where everybody was waiting for us. 

‘Where is it!?’ I asked

‘Here, said Liliah,’  brandishing a small cube with symbols sprawled around its edges. 

‘Just excellent!’ Said Peter; punching the air.

‘Okay, now that I’ve sent the message, we should be off.’

Everyone nodded and we set off.

And just as I was about to follow Peter out of the door, something caught my eye. It was.. Or at least it looked like.. No, it couldn’t be? Daniel? I watched him; he was talking to someone, I moved closer to the window, wiping my glasses to see if I was seeing correctly.. Daniel was talking to a man that I vaguely remembered.. And then, Daniel shook hands with the man, and I realised who he was! He was the Prime Minister of our sector! Sector 22! I had seen him on the television at Gran’s house! But Daniel? He was supposed to be against the Government! Not on their side! ‘Great, we have been betrayed,’  Had we been betrayed? Was Liliah right? It looked like she was… We were in big trouble.. And it was daylight now.. I needed to tell the others..

CHAPTER 4

SAMUEL WHISKERS

I change my mind, I want to be absolutely certain that Daniel was not on our side before I told Liliah and the others. So I went closer, used to camouflaging in the bushes and trees due to scavenging for food on the meadows. I was getting closer now, then, I saw Daniel and the Minister of Sector 22 talking. I crawled inside a big holly bush, using my hood to deflect the hollies from my face. I was very aware that the brushing of the hood was bringing a lot of attention to this bush. But the Minister brushed it off, and carried on talking.

‘Of course, of course. We won’t hurt your little friends!’ Said the Minister in his squeaky little voice. He looked like a rat, his teeth were yellow and some were missing. He was a very short man, called Samuel Whiskers. He was unintimidating, but he had the whole power of the Government behind him. He was wearing a navy blue striped suit, with a white bow tie and brown, pointed shoes and a white bowler hat with brown lace around it. His spindly hair looked like he had been ripping it out. He was carrying a small briefcase with the letters “S22” sprawled on its side.  

‘I wouldn’t expect you to, Minister!’ 

‘I am glad to hear you trust us!’ Squeaked the Minister ‘And you are sure their hideout is where the Murderous Members used to have theirs?’

‘Of course Minister Whiskers!’ said Daniel cheerily.

‘Perfect!’ Said the Minister checking his watch ‘I must be off soon, and you’re sure that your friends don’t know about our little ‘Deal?’ son?’ Squeaked the Minister

‘Yes, I am certain they do not know that I am betraying them Minister’ Said Daniel with a sly grin on his face.

‘Perfect! Perfect! Right, I must be off then, you know, to the wife!’ 

Then, he winked at Daniel and hurried off. I had never seen the Minister’s wife in person, only on the broken television at Gran’s house. She was much taller than the minister, and always wore thick layers of makeup. She always wore the same smile. She was a very large woman, much more intimidating than Samuel Whiskers. 

I left the bush quietly and ran off into the woods and back past the big Government building with its marble walls and golden statues, up the hill into the abandoned estate, still not believing anything I had just heard. I ran past Sector’ 22’s square where there were surprisingly no people.. I was expecting crowds! For the protest of course. I was starting to doubt that the others would believe me, if even I couldn’t believe what I had heard myself!

Everywhere I looked, there were posters of me and the new ‘MM’ group. All of the square tv’s were on and there were videos of me and the ‘MM’ group in the Government building.. What was going on? It looked like we were breaking in to hurt them, but they knew… I had a bad feeling, a feeling that they knew where I was right now, the sun was going down.. I could feel eyes watching my every move, yet I couldn’t see them. And then I was seeing people come out of their houses, their mouths gaping whilst pointing at me, whispering behind my back. I just ran and ran.

Finally, I made it back to the base, where there were no eyes watching me anymore, and no houses except abandoned town houses.

I dodged the bad brick tile, and slipped on the floor, grazing my arm. I got up, rubbing it, and opened the trap door, with it’s cold metal handle. I opened the door, but this time no voices, no warm welcome, just a thick layer of dust to greet me. Nobody was in there. It was as if it had never been touched. As I went to leave, the door slammed. And the little light left from the torches in the tunnel went out, I was trapped.

CHAPTER 5

THE BETRAYAL

Inside the dark gloomy walls of the abandoned basement, Sierra was crying, 

‘It’s all my fault!’ She was sobbing into the darkness. 

‘Where is everyone?  It was all my fault! Please let them go! Hello?! Anyone?!’

‘Well, well, well.’ said Daniel emerging from the dark.  I stopped crying immediately and wiped my face. ‘Do you really think that I would let your “friend” go?’ He screeched, laughing. ‘What have you done with them Daniel?’ What have you done to yourself?’ I said as he lit a torch. He had scratches and red marks all over his face, and blood dripping out of his mouth. He screeched with laughter again;

‘Oh, you do make me giggle, Sierra!’ I clenched my fists. You could kill him Sierra, do it! DO IT! Said a voice in the back of my head. But I decided to wait and listen. 

‘All along, I tricked everyone into thinking that I was on your side! You really thought that I was the Daniel that followed you around school? The Daniel who always asked to sit next to you?’ He screeched. 

‘What did you do to Daniel?’ I said, my words shaking with anger.

‘That Daniel boy was already in trouble!’ 

‘WHAT DID YOU DO TO DANIEL?!’ And this time I was the one that was screeching. I slapped him. He grunted with pain and fell on his knees.

‘Just wait Sierra, wait!’ 

‘WHO ARE YOU?!’ 

‘Let me explain!’ He cried and I stepped back and watched him, cursing him under my breath. ‘I am not Daniel, I am Daniel’s brother. My name is Gareth, and I killed Daniel, I drowned him and blamed it on my parents. They got taken away too. I wanted revenge on the people who were nice to me. Nice to my family.’ He smirked. ‘You and your family were one of them.’ I acted too quickly, I grabbed his throat and thrust him against the wall. 

‘No, wait, I have the whole of the government on my si- side.’ He spluttered. 

‘YOU TOOK MY PARENTS AWAY FROM ME, FROM MY SISTER, FROM MY FAMILY!’ 

This time, I was the one that didn’t act quickly and Daniel lifted the torch and burnt my hand just as he was turning purple. I screamed in agony and fell onto the floor. 

‘WEAK! WEAK CHILD!’ He screeched. I panted and tried to get up but the pain was too much. 

‘You won’t see any of your friends again, ever! They’re getting taken away, just like you. And the last thing you’ll see is me. 

He grabbed my hair and tugged me to the door and just as he was about to shut the door behind him. Everything happened so quickly, flashing lights, a scream, and hands. And then I saw Peter, Liliah, everyone from the ‘MM’ group. 

‘Peter? Liliah? Guys? Wha-?’ But I couldn’t say anything else. Because me and Peter were embraced in a hug, oh,  It was wonderful. And then, it was all gone. And another warm body embraced me, Avery! 

‘Avery!!’ I shouted! 

And she smiled at me. Then another person embraced me, Liliah!

‘Oh Lils! Oh I am so sor-’ 

‘Be quiet! You’re on camera!’  As she let go, I could see where I was and what was happening! I could see flashing lights by the trap door, and “Daniel” lying on the floor, with Gran shouting at him and tying his hands behind his back with the ‘MM’ groups help. 

‘Oh, Gran, I am so so sorry!’ 

‘Not to worry my love! You girls did the right thing!’  she said, grinning as broadly as ever. 

‘We filmed the whole thing!’ Said Peter kissing me on the cheek. 

‘You did?! Oh my gosh, how did you know?!’ I shrieked, laughing. 

‘Never that mind.. Let’s get Daniel locked up.’  She grimaced. 

‘Daniel is not Daniel! He is Gareth! Daniel’s brother!’ I shouted, as my memory flooded back. Slowly, Liliah turned to face me. 

‘He what?!’  She spat at me.

‘He is Gareth, Daniel’s older brother. He betrayed our parents’  I said in a small voice, very unlike my own. Peter squeezed my hand. 

‘YOU! YOU ARE THE ONE WHO RUINED MY LIFE, AND NOW YOU’VE RUINED THE ONLY THING THAT COMFORTED ME.’  She growled at him. I stood up, anger flooding into every part of my body, if I wasn’t on broadcast to every Sector in the nation.… I would kill Gareth. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and felt the reassuring warmth of Gran engulf me and Liliah. 

‘Now now girls, he is only young. But I can’t blame you for almost trying to kill him in the basement Sierra!’  Said Gran, her voice cracking. She winked at me. Me and Liliah grinned at her. And then I felt Avery’s warm hug around my waist and smiled down at her, she was crying, but nonetheless, grinning like usual.

‘Come on then girls, let’s get this Gareth locked up.’ said Gran, letting go of me and Liliah. 

‘Fine.’ I said, forcing a slight smile just for Gran. 

Flashing lights, tears, cheering, shouts and cries. And everyone we knew was out on the streets, fighting, resisting the Government. We had all worked together to bring them down.

***

‘I still can’t believe you, Liliah and Peter brought down the Government!’said Avery grinning widely. Peter And I were snuggled up next to each other, Gran was making dinner in the new kitchen, Liliah was playing a boardgame with me, Avery and Peter. All was great. 

And then, the welcoming sound of the doorbell went off;

‘I’ll go and get it.’ said Peter in his calm, comforting voice. His footsteps trailed away, we heard the door opening and closing and then multiple voices. 

‘Liliah, Avery, Sierra! There’s someone at the door for you!’ We all rolled our eyes, used to fans knocking on the door and asking for autographs. Yet it was odd, because they wanted Avery as well…. We all exchanged confused expressions and walked down the corridor. My heart skipped a few beats. I felt dizzy and a little sick. No, it couldn’t be, it isn’t, is it?

Avery and Liliah screamed;

‘MUM? DAD?’ We all said, and ran, and hugged the lost members of our family. 

‘Oh! Liliah, Sierra, Avery, Mum!’ Gran had made her way down the corridor, looking puzzled. 

‘Uncle Charlie? Aunty Lily!’ squealed Avery, hugging everyone she could. I would’ve loved it to last forever. In fact, it could’ve, but dad, in his booming, gentle voice that felt like it hadn’t been heard in years, maybe even decades spoke;

‘Oh, my girls, my sunshines!’ He said. He always used to call us that, his sunshines. I smiled, and Avery started to sob, but was still smiling, happy crying. ‘Now let’s go sit down and have a chat! You girls have grown so much! Look at you!’ he said pointing at us. That evening, everybody was sobbing, except Peter, but he was there for me, always holding my hand. I had a feeling, a good feeling, that things were going to be much better from now on.

THE END

Alba, age 11, wrote this tense, descriptive and wonderfully creative story in our Lower KS3 Creative Writing tutorials.

In creative writing, one of the biggest challenges is often knowing how to help students get started. Students can be really enthusiastic to write, but the prospect of staring at a blank page can be really daunting for them.

To help overcome this, students were given a rough outline of an adventure story, (specially written by Tutor Dave), which included a typical narrative arc, suggestions for plot points and character development.

The story outline was broken into six sections and students developed and extended the outline of the story over the six tutorials in the topic, completing more in their own time if they wanted to.

“This is such an amazing story, Alba! I love the care with which you have developed imagery in your writing to help us imagine the sights, sounds and suspense of trying to escape this island. You have taken the original ideas and developed them in a super creative way using your amazing writing skills to keep your reader intrigued and engaged in your story. What a great job – very well done!”

Feedback from Tutor Dave

To unleash your child’s creativity and help them to write like this, join our Upper/Lower KS3 English Tutorials.

Chapter 1
*The Start*

“I was looking through the rounded-plane-window waiting for us to land. We were flying over these wonderful green covered mountains and beautiful trees. Oh, it was lovely! But then…the Pilot started to make a funny noise.. It sort of sounded like… Choking. The pilot was choking!!! I went to try and help him, but the plane jolted back and then everything went downhill. The beautiful crystal clear water was not so beautiful anymore. It turned black like nothing was safe anymore. I called to the pilot, but no one answered. I screamed, but it was too late.No one could hear me. I jumped up and down on the plane, and started to examine the engines at the back of the plane…”

“I smelt the air, it smelt smokey but fiery. I stepped back, it was too much. I had to take a deep breath. I coughed because of the smoke. I’d had enough. I opened up the engine, it was a little smoky and the air was starting to get thicker and thicker… I went to jump off the plane but then I remembered the pilot! I climbed to the top of the plane and into the cockpit. The pilot was there but it looked like he had fainted or something. Then, I saw the crack in the side of the plane window and I understood what I had to do… I had to fly the plane. I wasn’t quite sure how to but then I decided to go for it. I pulled the joystick and the plane jolted this way and that! I was terrified and suddenly the plane dropped out of the sky. I shrieked as we plunged into the deep cold sea. I grabbed the pilot and swam and swam and swam until I saw a land mass. Not too big and not too small.. I stepped on to the warm sand and found a tree and I lay down and fell asleep with the pilot right by me.”

Chapter 2
*Survive?*

I opened my eyes and I felt a bit confused and tired and I could feel a headache creeping up. I couldn’t quite remember what had happened the day before. I rubbed my eyes and I sat up, just as my eyes were focusing I saw a figure standing in front of me and it gave me its hand. I took it, my eyes had focused and my body had woken up, I realised who it was. It was the pilot! He had made it! He was alive! I took a sharp breath and the air was thick and warm. He asked me if I was okay, I just nodded. I really wasn’t okay at all. I was terrified.”

“It was later on in the day, it was sort of midday, but I couldn’t tell because my watch had broken whilst I was swimming. It was actually quite a nice warm day, I would have enjoyed it more if I hadn’t just crashed in a plane and was thirsty and hungry. I asked the pilot if he had any leftover food from the plane. He said no, I was devastated. I remembered the palm trees and said to the pilot; “why don’t we get some coconuts from the palm trees from earlier?”

“Okay!” said the pilot.”

“We had been searching and searching for food and water. We had finally found a palm tree but it only had one coconut on it. Only one! I sighed and the pilot said; “I can get it if you lift me up?” I put out my leg and he stepped up onto it and climbed up the palm tree and suddenly, he screamed and fell off the palm tree. I rushed over to him and asked; “are you okay??” His eyes looked brighter than ever and he did manage to get the coconut but he pointed behind me. I then heard a hissing noise right by my ear and I ran and the pilot followed still with the coconut. We didn’t stop until we couldn’t hear the noise anymore.”

“We lay down that night and I could hear that noise louder than ever. I was shivering. It had gotten colder.

That night I couldn’t sleep at all, I was wondering if we’d ever survive and if anyone knows where we are and if my family is okay at home and if we can contact someone… It was dreadful.

Chapter 3
*The Cave*

I jumped up! Ready to go and get my kids to wake them up and go to school! Then, I remembered that I wasn’t at home. In fact, at that moment, I felt a little drop on my nose. I looked up, and loads of little drops of rain started pouring all over me!! The pilot was calling me, and screaming. I called to him. Nothing answered. I heard a scream again coming from the Jungle on my left. I ran into the Jungle, it was very damp and not much rain was getting in there. I looked up and realised why. There was a giant sea of palm trees above me. Beautiful ones, with coconuts and green leaves. I heard the scream again. I ran through the jungle with the most interesting pairs of eyes staring at me in all directions. 

I finally got to a clearing, and the rain had stopped. For a split second I thought I was at home in the beautiful sunshine, smoking my tobacco, peacefully. Then I saw a lake, a beautiful shining blue lake, the water was crystal clear. And I turned and that same screaming noise was right by my ear. I spotted a  cave and without thinking twice, I ran into it. It was a very dark cave, my eyes were still adjusting to the darkness when I bumped into something, a sort of rounded spiky object. My eyes had finally adjusted and I realised it was a beautiful crystal. I could hear a small dripping noise from the rain that had come back again. I could also still hear that screaming noise right outside the cave. Then, out of the blue, I saw a black shadow in the cave. It suddenly jumped out of the cave and growled and roared! A roar that one had never heard before. And the screaming, slowly, died away. There, was the black shadow again, lurking around the cave,  I didn’t quite get to see any of those creatures, if they were even creatures that is. I only saw a glimpse of black and green and then, everything seemed to calm down and the black shadow scaredly, slowly started to come nearer and nearer. It had definitely gotten hurt with everything that had happened outside, because it was limping towards me, in some need of help.

I sat down in the small glistening cave, and took off my bag. Luckily, I had stuffed the first aid kit from the plane in my bag just as it was falling out of the sky, it turned around again, but the creature had gone. I heard the noise again, it seemed to be further but louder and louder again. I had made up my mind. I couldn’t hear the pilots’ calls anymore. But I decided to stay the night in this cave.

That night I fell asleep straight away, but it wasn’t such a pleasant sleep. I had dreadful nightmares, about the screaming noise, I shall not explain anymore. It was too bad.

Chapter 4
*Survive?*

I gasped! Then I remembered I was safe. For now. I was trying to understand what I had been woken up by. Then I heard the screaming noise again. This time it sounded further away than last night.

I had waited and waited. And I felt it was the time. I plucked up the courage to go and investigate the noise. Just before I set off on this expedition, I remembered the black shadow, and whether it was  alive or I was just hallucinating. 

Then, I decided I needed a weapon of some sort.. So I looked around the cave for something I could make use of. I spent as long as I possibly could in that cave and the only resource I found was a considerably short stick. And a piece of string. Not the ideal weapon but it did the job. And then I remembered I had a small penknife in my bag which I found in the first aid bag. Which I used to carve my stick into a reasonably sharp end. Then I heard the screaming noise and decided to head out of the clearing into the dark and green spooky forest. And spotted tha

After I don’t know how many hours I was Trekking through that jungle but it seemed for days, maybe months. I saw nothing except small dart frogs and poisonous snakes. I ate everything left in my backpack. All I had left to do was eat small harmless bugs. And drink the water drops from the big forest roof and the umbrella like leaves.

I was about to give up and then I saw a light. Not a very bright one but a dim sort of calm-homelike sort of light. I ran towards this wonderful light and bursted out of the forest walls.

I blinked. I was outside again, where was I? Then I spun round and there was a cliff. A beautiful one with ivy hanging down from every nook and cranny of the beautiful cliff. I gazed at it from every angle. Its beauty was hypnotising! I shook myself, then I focused and the black shadow which had been following me finally revealed itself. It was a beautiful black prowling panther. It was the most elegant animal I had ever seen. With its golden eyes and pristine claws and eye-catching paws. Then, suddenly everything started pouring it down with rain and I decided it was time to head back to the cave.

I trotted through the green infested forest and I swore I could still hear the captain’s shouts ringing in my ear. I can’t wait to go back to that beautiful cliff the next morning. 

I turned the corner right by the cave, the black panther still following and then I looked behind me for one moment and 

There was like a sort of big, plastic-like snake skin, a massive one! Bigger than I had ever seen in my 30 years of living! Then everything went silent and the birds stopped singing, the insects stopped clicking and I turned around and saw what was making the noise…

***

Chapter 5
*Surprise!*

I gasped, it was the poor old pilot not living much longer, but his clothes were placed firmly on the beastly creature’s monstrosity of a body. Then I came back to my senses.

The black panther attacking ‘The Great Big Python’. I ran as fast as I could not even looking where I was going, the screaming of it was getting ever closer, I never even knew Python’s could make such noises! 

Still racing through the forest, the noise at its loudest and nearest as ever. ‘I could try and climb up a tree, or hide behind a rock?’ I thought to myself.

Then I saw a gigantic lake, beautiful crystal clear water, then I saw rocks, just about as tall and wide for me to hide behind. I sat with my back to the rock, not daring to say a word. The panther on my lap, ready to advance on ‘The Great Big Python’ if it didn’t leave soon. 

We waited, and waited, and waited. Me neither the Panther daring to go near the beastly creature I could hear its slow heartbeat and hissing tongue getting nearer and nearer. Its rattling scales shining off the sun, I could hear it slowly, advancing towards the rock I was hiding behind. Then, suddenly it turned and slithered away faster than I had ever moved myself. Then at that moment I realised the panther wasn’t on my lap. Then, I turned to see what had made the Python bolt, then I realised it was indeed the panther itself. Not any panther, the panther at the back of this great big party and a chief-like great big old panther at the very front with the most beautiful black panther! I kneeled down in front of the great big panther in a gesture of thanks. It accepted it and sat grandly like a king on his throne.

I could hear the hissing and screaming of The Great Big Python in the distance some way away.

That moment I relaxed slightly, like I was safe around these elegant creatures.

I looked at the lake again and saw a sort of raft looking thing, made out of yellow bamboo, held together with ivy from the tree and the panthers were gesturing towards it as a way of escape. The panther I was with, I named ‘Lucky’ because she had been very lucky to have been saved from her pack, and to still be alive and I was very lucky to have her.

Chapter 6
*The End*

I looked around for the raft again.. It was nowhere to be seen.. I kept looking and looking and finally I saw the bamboo raft was right there in front of me, I started to examine the raft and everything looked fine until, I realised that there was a big hole in the middle of the raft, but it looked like it was just fixable…  then I heard that distant hissing and screaming and shrieking in the distance.. It sounded like it was getting closer and then it went further and then back again like something was stopping it.

***

The next day I started to try and repair the raft.. It wasn’t going as well as I hoped it would.. I couldn’t find any materials to fix it with. Then I looked around for the last time and found some Ivy on a tree… Quite strong but not too thick, I gave it a try and,I hopped on the raft and splash. I fell through the ivy and into the freezing cold water. It wasn’t such a bad hole but it would do some good if I did fix it.. Then, the noise seemed to have escaped from the barrier’s grasp and started to get closer and closer..

I started to panic, not knowing what the best thing was to do and then… I remembered the small stump next to the stone I hid behind!! I ran over to the stone hearing the hissing getting ever closer, I grabbed the stump and shoved it in the hole.. I rapped the ivy around it and for now, It stayed.. I wrapped and wrapped until there was no ivy left… I had done it at last! I was free from this awful island.. I saw the panther’s shadows behind me and the thing was coming, they were blocking the thing!  Then, at that moment when I grabbed my bag and stuffed some berries in it, The Great Big Python re-appeared.. I waved goodbye to the panthers and said thank you many many times although it wasn’t much use because they were too busy fighting The Great Big Python… The small little Panther jumped on the bamboo raft at just the last minute and I grabbed it just before it slipped and fell in the ice cold water.. I rowed and rowed till the island was just as far as I felt safe.. I was free!! Finally!!!